Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should a husband be okay with his wife gaining a ton of weight?

And vice versa? Is a husband supposed to think his wife is beautiful no matter what?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Feb. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • My husband gained so much weight he couldn't have sex. That was a problem. We didn't have sex the last 3 years of our marriage. You couldn't even see 'it' with all the fat.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Beauty is subjective, so is attraction. It is a matter of preference, what is considered acceptable, and what can be tolerated.

    For the sake of health, no it should not. For the sake of attraction, that is subjective.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:21 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • yes she should be beautiful no matter what but if he thinks she is getting on the hefty side he could tell her and incourage her to shed a few pounds and maybe join the same diet plan...not just be a nag

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:22 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • No.
    What he should do is support you and encourage you in getting healthy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • nope, as long as he can still reach the vagina he should be fine

    Answer by staciandababy at 5:22 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Think about it if it were the other way around - if you fell in love with and married your husband at a healthy weight, and then he gained a lot, would you still find him attractive? Some would, some wouldn't. You would probably at least still love him, but that's not the same, is it? 

    So, no, not necessarily.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I literally gained 100 pounds throughout a couple of years of our relationship. He never said one negative word about it. At all. Ever. Never treated me different. Always made me feel special. He married me while I was a huge cow. Then I got sick of being fat and lost the 100 pounds. If he had made me feel crappy I doubt I would have had the strength to lose the weight because I would have felt so bad. I would hope husbands support their wives.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:28 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I think many men(including my husband) think their wives are beautiful even after 2 kids and 50 extra pounds. Some husband's feelings change for whatever reason the moment his wife doesn't look like a super model she was 5 years ago. My husband always thought i was attractive to him when i was thin and now that i have gained weight. He still calls me sexy, beautiful, gorgeous because thats how he feels. Being attracted to someone is never forced, either he feels attracted to you or not. YOU cant make him feel attracted to you, its a natural feeling on HIS part.

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 5:51 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • gaining a few pounds as we age is normal......our metabolisms slow and its easier to put on pounds.....however gaining too much weight where it affects his health is unacceptable.....I don't want to watch my husband gain so much weight that his health suffers.....I would be proactive and help him get into shape and I hope it would be vice versa.

    Answer by LynnB1 at 5:51 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • No... you do not have to accept a spouse letting them selves go.

    If this is a medical issue that causes them to gain weight... I think there should be a level of understanding. You may not like the way your spouse looks... but they have not done this to them selves they had no control over it.

    Yes it is selfish to think that a spouse has to accept the way you look no matter what.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.