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For Christian mommies with organized homes and well mannered children, please help me with my toddlers.

My kids are out of control. I need help getting handle on my home and children. Please do not answer this if you are going to tell me to spank my kids or criticize instead of offer help.

My husband and I are products of abusive homes and so have no healthy model as to how to parent and discipline. My kids don't listen to me, the house is in chaos. I have 2 toddlers that I'm trying to get under control and a newborn baby that's sick and has reflux. I'm very stressed out and don't know where to begin.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Feb. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Well...I don't fit the "organized home" model...but I do have a suggestion that did help.

    1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan. It does work with toddlers.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:38 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • For organization...let me suggest flylady.net. It works for me when I stick with it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:39 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I have used Love & Logic with my twin toddlers, and it has worked really well for us. I've also heard good things about 1-2-3 Magic.

    For organization the bigest thing for me is getting rid of junk we don't use or need. I keep the kids toys in plastic bins with lids, and I only allow 2 bins out and open most of the time - it still gets messy, but at least it's more managable.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • 1-2-3 magic i pretty good
    I would also talk to your ped.
    good luck mama!
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:00 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • Oh well, you don't want my input because I'm not Christian. Ok.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • i think alot of your problems would be solved with a schedule. routine is great for parents as well as for kids. it will also help you to organize your home bc there will be less chaos and more time to get things accomplished. for discipline, i do 3 strikes and you're in time out. first strike is when i tell them to stop (their warning). second strike i tell them to stop again and remind them that this is strike 2. third time i just say strike 3, you're going to time out. i do 1 min. for each year in age (u know, like a 2yo would get 2 min.). i just have an empty corner they go to and i set the timer on the oven in the kitchen. when they're done i tell them to come over to me and then i tell them what they did wrong and why it was wrong. my husband is working most of the time so i am alone and i think i would be crazy without a routine lol. i have a 4yo, a 2yo and a 5mo so i know what you're going through. pm me if u want.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:33 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • You know, not all organized mothers are Christians. I'm perfectly organized and my kids are well behaved. Christian does not equal pure and perfect.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • I raised 4 really well mannered and well behaved children with 5 years between the 1st and 4th and I kept an oranized home. They were constantly complimented on their manneres everywhere we went and now at 23. 22, 19 and 18 are amazing young men. We didn't spank, we co-slept, we believed in a child led approach, etc.. I'd let you know my secrets but I am Jewish so, my approach probably wouldn't work for a Christian family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Feb. 26, 2010

  • "You know, not all organized mothers are Christians. I'm perfectly organized and my kids are well behaved. Christian does not equal pure and perfect. "

    I never once stated that a non Christian mom can't have an organized home and well behaved children. It's just I am looking for advice and support from Christian women. I want my home to be peaceful and loving. I'm also not interested in discipline measures that would go against my faith. I also believe strongly that things can't be done on my own strength, but I need the guidance of our Heavenly Father. Relying on my own strength will cause me to fail every time. Only a Christian mommy will understand that I can truly help me bring calm into my home in the way that I want.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • "I never once stated that a non Christian mom can't have an organized home and well behaved children. It's just I am looking for advice and support from Christian women."

    Let me be REAL honest with you? Christian women do the same things as women from other faiths. Your faith truly makes no difference here.

    You probably would NOT consider me a Christian...I'm a lapsed Catholic and exploring Episcopalianism. Buyt my definition is broad. As long as you believe in Jesus Christ you're a Christian in my book; I don't care about the rest.

    Both of what I recommended to you were recommended to me by Bible-litteralist Christian women, though.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:13 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

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