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Why does dh act this way, and why does it bother me?

It makes me feel like I'm in high school when my dh act this way: When we are around someone both of us knows, especially if he knows this person better than me, dh will "one-up" me, as if in competition with me, whether its through his words or his actions. It's as if he's trying to compete with me, while impressing the people he's around. I don't want to compete with him, and yet, any nice gesture I do or say to someone when he is around, he comes up with something bigger, better, nicer and it leaves me shaking my head in wonder. It's like he tries to be the Nicest of the 2 of us, and I just want him to be him, and me to be me. Why does this irritate me about him?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Feb. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • It's kinda of an annoying trait because he never lets you shine. Have you brought it up to him, and told him that it bothers you? Men live there lives in competition it's part of proving they are capable of taking care of everything. He probably doesn't even realize he's doing it. You can either learn to understand where it's coming from or you can talk to him about it and hopefully he'll work to improve his behavior.

    Answer by bugandsmiles at 1:50 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Instead of saying something great you did, just go ahead and tell them how awesome he is and he'll be in shock? Then add, I would've told you about something cool I did/know but he'd rather tell you about him anyways, so I just figured I'd save him the breath.
    I'm sorta kidding... I wouldn't add the last line to the person but I might for him if he asked for an explanation.
    Maybe he was the kid in school that always thought everyone else was better than he was at everything and doesn't even realize he's being annoying.
    I find that I share useless information sometimes when I'm nervous, or share more information than what I should. Is it possible he's insecure with himself too?

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:53 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

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