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what to do?

My husband left tonight and went to a friends house. He said he'd be gone only a few hrs then he'd help me put dd to bed.....hes been gone 8hrs (from 4-12) and turned his phone off. The friend posted pics of them drinking on facebook. I dont really care hes over there but I hate that I dont know whats going on or when hes coming home (if he is). Like do I stay up or go to bed? Plus he has never got drunk in front of me, and its really pissing me off hes doing it at a friends house without telling me. I'm thinking about getting our 4yr old up and going over there to at least take his keys so if he is drunk he doesnt drive, but idk. I'm almost scared how they would react to me if they are drunk. Any advice?? This is the 2nd time hes done something like this. Last time he got drunk and I didnt hear from him till the next morning when he came home hung over

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Feb. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • He should have enough respect for you to let you know whats going on and where he is. sounds a little immature of him. And seems like he knows he is doing sometthing he's not suppost to be doing.

    Answer by robinalbright at 1:21 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Like Robin said, he should have enough respect. I'd go to sleep and address is in the morning, no offence but if he's that insensitive, then don't be the doormat waiting for him to wipe his drunken feet on when or if he comes home later tonight. if he was driving could be he won't even come home and you'll feel really stupid and hurt waiting up all night. i'm sorry because that would REALLY piss me off and I'm not the type to sleep on things and let things sit for days. but I am learning that when men behave that way, then I start giving them their own medicine too, ignoring it, not making a huge deal & if they have any type of conscious they come around, if they don't, you see who they are and they will continue you to abuse the fact that you don't "complain" and if they do, talk to them about it, if it continues & gets more frequent & you have a problem with it then you'll have to consider leaving to make your point.

    Answer by Jeda624 at 1:27 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • honestly if it was me I would get my kid and go stay at a friend or family members house ( I would stay at my moms) ...I wouldnt leave a note and I would turn my phone off....give him a taste of that hes doing to you..maybe it will open his eyes...

    Im sorry but he is being very immature and disrespectful ..I would never beable to be with a man like that -- I hope he straightens up for you !

    Answer by glamomomo at 1:35 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • If there is No communication, there is no relationship. Going out a partying with friends but he should call and let you know where he is and when he's coming home. Go to bed and when he you see him tomorrow tell him you need to talk. Sometimes men don't realize how important a simple phone call can be to us. If after telling him how you feel and what you need from him this happens again then maybe he's not ready for a real relationship. Stress is no good for you or your child.

    Answer by bugandsmiles at 1:39 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • pack his clothes and some other belongings and have them ready for him when he gets home, Tell him there's your stuff come back when you ready to grow up and be a man! A true husband and father. GL!

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 2:39 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I'm likely a little older than you, so I've been taught to expect more from my husband and the father of my children. The very first time that happened I'd have clearly stated that when you do this again I will not be home when you get here, or your things will be packed and waiting for you outside (possibly in a suitcase, possibly in ashes).
    Had the friend not posted the pics, you'd have not known if he'd been in an accident on the way home, if he was with some other woman, or where the heck he was or if he was even still alive, hurt etc... I'd never take my child to a place where people were drinking, but especially with people I'd never seen drinking/drunk to know whether they become mean drunks or funny drunks.
    I'd warn him before I up and left him for doing this. He likely thinks that you're okay with it since you put up with it the last time. I'd state the rules of the game and if he does it again, I'd do it.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:31 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I didn't mean that first sentence like it might've sounded. The younger generation seem to be okay with hubby's and wives going to drink/party with their friends. I don't think it's right for a man or a woman either one to be out partying without their spouse with them, I'm not up for watching my hubby flirt or have sex with other women, and anywhere our kids can't go, we don't go. It wasn't meant as a put down to the younger generation, it's just that I haven't learned to be "modern" and don't plan on it. And that's not to say that there's not a lot of people who are much younger than me don't feel the same way I do, it's just that the norm now seems to be if he cheats, drinks, plays those stupid video games night and day, you throw a fit but it just keeps happening time and time again. Some of it is maturity, some of it is stupidity and some of it is blatently being disrespectful of the man... up to you how you handle it

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:42 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I'd let him stay there and not drive home but I wouldn't be very nice to him when he got home!

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:50 AM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • First, Tell him you know.
    Set some ground rules.

    Ask him what time will he be home, .....
    Give him a extra 30 minutes...

    LOCK THE DOOR and GO TO BED !!!!! ( screen and ALL )

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 10:13 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

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