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Facebook and Cell phone? Please give me some advice

I have a Step daughter that lives with her Mom and She just recently got a cell phone with internet access and she has a facebook account I am just amazed at this I do not think it's okay for a 10yr old to have this sort of stuff. Especially because if I go on Facebook I see that she's on there all day, even accessing it through her phone. Her mom does not watch over what she's doing online. I think she needs to gow up a little before she has all this stuff and the other day she went to a friends and watched the movie "The Hangover" I need advice my husband doesnt agree with it either but her mother doesnt mind and says what's done is done. Should I just leave it alone and stop worrying. I am scared for her she already has some issues because of being taken away from her dad at age 5 (they live about 8 hrs away)

Should I just leave it alone? Am I crazy in thinking that she shouldnt be doing this sort of stuff at ten

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Asked by twogirlsandmore at 12:07 PM on Feb. 27, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (12)
  • If her mom has primary custody and doesnt have a problem with it then theres not much you can do. The only thing you can do is say she isnt allowed while in your home. However I would have dad make that rule otherwise youre just going to be the evil stepmom to her. My court order says what the kids do here is what they do here, what they do there is what they do there. They can bring toys between homes (in this case cell phone), and each parent is allowed to punish the child but the punishment cannot be carried over to the other home unless the other parent agrees (which she wont).
    Second be sure this is a can of worms you want to open. Is mom nice? Do you have a good relationship? Or will she use this to start WW3?

    Answer by gemgem at 12:11 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • We have a good relationship But she's very unattentive to her children. My husband and I would love to have custody of her and It kills us that we have no grounds for it. I know that when she is here she gets attention and we go out and do things, swimming, rollerblading, we go do things she can learn from. So she doesnt even want to computer or TV. I really fear that she's going to have many problems as she gets older

    Answer by twogirlsandmore at 12:24 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Actually at 10, she shouldn't have a facebook account as you have to be 13 to have one. Just keep monitoring her facebook and if ANYTHING questionable shows up on it, log it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • To be honest, with the mother as the custodial parent, there isn't much you can do without going to a lawyer and going for custody.
    Good luck, but your best bet is to keep your mouth shut and just restrict her use in your house.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:25 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • My kids age 9 and 11 have facebook, but I have sign in code, then cannot log in unless I do it for them. also, got an accout so I can see what they've been doing and what their friends has done on their pages. As for a cell phone, they share a phone. Example: they are never both gone at the same time or it hasn't happened yet. So, my son staying at a friends house has the cell phone tonight.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Anon :12 - this means that you LIED to set up Facebook accounts for your children. Why in the hell would you teach your children this??? There is NO NEED FOR A 9 or 11 yr old to have a Facebook!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I completely agree that this is not right, but I am in almost the same situation. BM has allowed SD to have a facebook account, myspace account etc. I deleted her myspace account twice. now she has one with an e-mail account i dont know the password to so I can't delete it. I permanently deleted the facebook account because it was started with the e-mail account I set up for her. her first e-mail account had her full name in it. I deleted it and told her it wasnt safe so i gave her one that was safer and I could monitor. she rarely gets on it though. i can log onto her myspace because I know that password - the e-mail she used isn't her's so again, i cant delete it. SO has made it clear that he does not want her to have these accounts so we have no problem deleting them over and over again as long as we are able. They have joint legal and BM has physical at this time.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:30 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • also, if she ever came over with a cell phone without us having agreed that she is ready for one, we would confiscate it and she would not be allowed to use it while she was at our house. she could take it back with her when she went back to her mother's. she has no need for a cell phone.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:31 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • For the OP....On Facebook, you can have Facebook delete the account if you prove that the child is too young. That way you aren't the bad guy, Facebook is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

    For reporting underaged Myspace users.!/help/contact.php?show_form=underage
    For reporting underaged Facebook users.

    There is NO NEED for anyone under the age of 13 to be on these social networks and their TOS don't ALLOW a user under 13 to be on either site unless they've LIED ABOUT THEIR AGE and if they've done that.....then there are other things that I would worry about too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

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