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Did/do you encourage your children to "tattle" on each other?

When you discipline one child for doing something and he says "but DS2 did it too!" do you discipline both of them, or just the one that you "caught"?
Do you tell your children to tell you when the other is doing something wrong?
If your child does come to you to tell you the other one is doing something wrong, do you always discipline the other child? Or does it depend on the crime?

I want my children to come to me when the other is doing something VERY wrong. But at the same time i don't want them to tattle on each other for little petty things.


Asked by outstandingLove at 2:09 PM on Feb. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • If some one is bleeding, broken, or dying then they should come tell me. Other than that, the one that gets tattled on AND the tattler get into trouble. I am trying to teach them to work together and stop trying to get each other in trouble. But, it doesn't happen often.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:16 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • i dont but kids do it anyway,i tell mine to tell me instead of the other parent so i knwo whats up

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I do not like tattling. I think we are becoming a society of tattlers. I see it on cm all the time. Moms wanting to tattle on someone - teachers, doctors, neighbors, ect.

    When one of my children would come and tattle I would say, "Well, what did you do about it." I would turn the situation around to taking personal responsibility. Then I tell them what they might do.

    If someone or something is in danger that isn't tattling.

    By discipline you probably mean punish. I didn't use punishment because I know it's not an effective form of parenting and doesn't teach good behavior. So punishment isn't an issue. I use an authoritative parenting style because it is the most effective and kindest.

    Answer by Gailll at 2:15 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Mine know when they need to come to me, like when my youngest wrote on the wall her older brother tried to take the crayon from her and show her how to clean it and instead she smacked him took the crayon and wrote on the wall again...yup he came to me lol (looking back it is a little funny she was 2 at the time). I prefer they try to work things out first if it is a fight between them, I wont always be her to solve their problems. If one of them is doing something against the rules yes i want to know. If one gets in trouble and says the other was soing it also, I ask the other child "did you do this?" and they know its better to tell me the truth then to lie, if they were in involved then yes they share the punishment.

    I dont like the constant tattling of silly little things and my boys dont do that my 5 y/o dd does and is learning not to. There is tattling for nonsense things and there is making you aware of big things.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:17 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • We started a rule here because the tattling is going overboard. 1. mind your own business and worry only about you. 2. Only tattle if you are bleeding, or dying. If you are tattling on the other by saying so and so changed the channel, then the one tattling looses the tv for a while, punishment fits the crime. Mine are 5 and 7 they know that I want to know if something bad is happening, just not the petty mess

    Answer by SuzanneL09 at 3:11 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I dont like tattling but it seems to be a natural progress with children LOL. My nearly 6 yr old tattles ALL the time.

    I punish him for tattling frankly cuz we have warned him that we already know and there is no good that comes from tattling.

    As for if all kids do a naughty....the one caught will get punished and the others will get a talking to. If we hear them all doing the naughty then they all get punished.

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 4:31 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • No. And I don't like adults tattling on each other either. So many Moms here discuss calling CPS and the Cops extremely often. Its pathetic. Kids or adults who "tattle" are trying to make themselves feel better than everyone else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I do not like tattling. Teach your kids to show some loyalty!

    Answer by BaisMom at 5:35 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • I don't like tattling either, I try to keep it to a minimum, I do believe there are times where they should come to the parents but not over every minor thing.

    If one says "Well so and so was doing it", I ask the other child and if they said yes then they both get into trouble (I can tell when they are lying).

    My teens are told to never tattle on each other BUT if I ask a direct question they must answer it truthfully. So far this has worked well, it allows them to talk to each other and confide in one another without worry of the other tattling. It also allows me when I have a suspicion to ask a question and get an answer. I try to only use this when it is really important though.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 5:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • If it's petty, I get that blank stare going.... that really makes them mad! lol
    If it's a real situation I thank them for letting me know.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

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