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What now?

My boyfriend (of 2 years), and I, have been separated for over a month now. We have a baby and I've moved an hour away, and had to start over. I'm not working yet, but planning on going to school. I'm staying with my mother until things get back on track. Now that I've gotten settled, it's setting in that my relationship is over. It hurts because I wanted things to work out, but he wants to be in a band and didn't have time for us as a family. Some days, I'm okay. I think about starting school and making a life for myself. But then there are other days where I hurt and I (think) I miss my ex. He said he hopes we get back together in the future, but he knows I'm not happy with what he wants. I don't know how to cope. I don't know how "this" works. Having a relationship for 2 years, then breaking up, while being a new mom. He hardly ever sees our daughter, and that upsets me. I just don't know what to do.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Feb. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • why are people asking everyone why they chose to have children with the person they are with??? well children are not always planed and even the ones that are things go wrong sometimes and people can change. having the child was not the problem its the way he acted afterwards.
    keep your head up hun go to school get on your feet and be your own person and even if he never comes around dont push love it will come to you when the time is right go out make friends and see where life takes you and your baby. this guy kinda sounds like a tool, and if he doesn't want a family (that he helped make) he is not worth your time.
    sami07

    Answer by sami07 at 6:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • its hard to visit if your an hour away,idk how people do it, it hink your normal and your feeling what everyone does.one day out a time mommy best of wishes
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • hmmmm.... it hurts i know that. But be strong. You did what you wanted to do. You let him go, rite? Now focus on what you have decided, school and baby. he will come back if he wants you and if he really thinks you are the rite one for him then he might change himself and be together again. It will take time for you to get over it. Go out, make new friends who has kids. Don't let yourself degrade you. You should be happy that you are trying to achieve something in life. Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • He didn't spend much time with her or us as a family when we were together. Even after we separated and before I moved, he didn't make much effort to see her. I told him I would bring her to him if the drive was an issue. I don't hear anything from him about our daughter, but he sure doesnt miss band practice or going out with his friends.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • What if you wanted a career and wanted him to be a full time parent? Why on earth did the two of you choose to have a child?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:07 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • When we got together, he said he wanted to settle down. That he was over the teenage years and didn't even like going out with the guys that much anymore. His focus was work, then we started a relationship. A month or so before our daughter was born, he says he wants to be a musician and play in a band. From that point on he was gone every saturday playing music and then twice a week on top of that. Eventually, it got to be 9am-8pm at work, then some night he got home at 10/11pm bc he was playing music. I did everything to make him happy, and it got to the point where I dont think he was happy with himself, and he just wasnt happy in general. Maybe he THOUGHT he knew what he wanted when we got together, but apparently not. He says he wants a better life for us, so being a musician/in a band is what he wants to do to be successful. But he wasnt there for his family, and it didnt seem fair.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • try giving him 5 yrs, him turn into a totally different person and breaking up.. but im so sorry, i feel for you!
    sunshinebaby209

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 4:58 PM on Feb. 27, 2010