Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

cheating, lying husband in afghanistan!! read! your advice will be nice!

my husband is abusive and a rapeist. hes in the army! he has hurt me soo much that im to the point i want to just throw my hands up and say forget it all! well for some reason i cant. we are expecting our first child that will be born july 27th 2010. idk what to do. he told me this girl was writting him and bothering him and i believe him and that girl sent me everything they were wrtitting back and fourth. he was asking for nude pics and that girl was talking crap about me and he was agreeing about everything she wrote.. she asked him if he wanted to have sex with him and he said he did! idk what to do. i have stayed with him threw everything he has done to me. he says he loves me but he doenst really act like it.. when i tell him how i feel, he just write back with nothing to do with the message.. he changes the subject. i have threatened to leave him before and he acted like he was fine with it.. he doesnt care.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Feb. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I think you know the answer you're seeking; just re-read what you've written. Why would you stay with an abusive rapist? No, that's what I thought, you wouldn't. So don't.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • So why are you even asking this question? If he's a dick, leave him. That simple.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 6:08 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • GET OUT NOW. If he's abusive to you, what do you think he's going to do to your child once it's born? And since he's military and you're a dependent, you can get free legal aid to get the divorce started. You can't possibly stay around him to have him beat your child (shaken baby syndrome is a BIG problem around military bases- do you want that for your child?) or even possibly RAPE YOUR CHILD. So I say again: GET OUT NOW.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • So you wrote a long vent, and did not ask a question. So, I have a question for you. Why did you and this man decide to have a child?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:10 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Leave him right away, if he is a rapist, abuser cheater why in the hell would you want a child to grow up around that. If he doesn't care then why do you. Get a divorce, and I think you should have him terminate his rights to the baby, you don't want anything to do with him not even child support. Get out before you end up dead.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:21 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • YOU ARE IN DANGER. LEAVE NOW. dont be a statistic. he is a rapist?abuser? how much more do you NEED?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 6:23 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • If i were you I'd take everyone of those letters to his commander when they get back. While he's gone, I'd pack up, and leave. You have any proof of the rape. If so take them that too. Military does not look lightly on infidelity. If he don't get brig time, he'll def. lose ranking. I'd file for divorce and send his ass the papers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Show it to his CO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Go to the on base legal center and file for a divorce and file for a protective order against him. Pack up and leave. The military seriously frowns on cheating. He will get into trouble as well as the person he is screwing around with. Keep those letters and make copies to give to legal and his CO. Make sure they understand that he is abusive and you do not want him near you or your child when they are born.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:41 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
I hate to be a nagging wife but!

Next question overall (Parenting)
question