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CALLING ALL MOM'S OF TEEN AGE KIDS OR OLDER

I CURRENTLY FEEL LIKE I HAVE FAILED IN MOTHERHOOD? THE UN EXPECTED DEFINATELY RE OCCURRED AND IT CAUGHT ME COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE, DAH!! IS IT ME BUT ARE KIDS (TEENS) SELF CENTERED AND JUST HAVE NO DESIRES TO SELF MOTIVATE THEMSELVES? OR AM I OVER DRAMATIZING AN INSOLATED SITUATION CAUSE I HAVE A 19 YEAR OLD SON WHO JUST LACKS MODIVATION OR DESIRE AND HATES ME HIS MOM AS WELL AS HIS DAD. HE IS SO ANGRY. WALKS AROUND WITH NO GOALS OR APPEARS TO CARE LESS, EXCEPT TO TAKE AND TAKE AND THE MORE HE GETS THE LESS HE IS IMPRESSED...JUST VENTING ...

 
csjoy1

Asked by csjoy1 at 10:28 PM on Feb. 27, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 10 (450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • While your children will ALWAYS be your children, it is our job as their parents to help them become PRODUCTIVE members of society as they become adults!!

    This does not mean that we stop caring for our children, this means that we cut the apron strings and let them fall down every once in a while. It means that we can extend a hand to help, but only to assist....we cannot fix it completely. We give them the knowledge and tools, but we don't take over.

    As for your son, you need to put your foot down and tell him, that he's to be enrolled in the local community college/tech school a mininum of 12 hrs and working part time while helping around the house because if he's living under your roof he's still a part of the house. OR working full time and living on his own with no help from you. Either/Or and give him a deadline.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • WOW sounds like you just explained my sister 19 years old never worked a day in her life and mad at the world!
    HannahLee87

    Answer by HannahLee87 at 10:32 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • He is 19 and no longer your responsibility. I don't know if he has a job but if he doesn' t tell him to get one. Then tell him to move out since he already knows everything. If he is living under your roof and chooses to be lazy and disrespectful at 19, you have choices.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:33 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • If he is 19 and hates you it sounds like it is time for him to find somewhere else to live.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:39 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Yep it's time for the real world, he's an adult so he should be able to take care of himself. With the lack of respect he would be out on his butt if he were living in my house!
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:47 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Im 18 and i dont wanna do anything...i want other people to give me everything...but the hard true is kick him out and make him get a job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • About a month ago I could have posted the same exact post. At least I am not alone. I felt like I failed as well. All my son ever say me do to this day is work hard, his dad too. But he just wants to lazy around, sleep till 3p.m. don't work, and yes where does all the anger come from? Some times I fell like he hates me. He is now in another state with his grandma. He seems to be doing well. All we can do is pray for them and pray they make the best decisions in life. He is grown now but I can never stop worrying. As I see you can't. We have to both know that we did our best and eventually the best will come out of them.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 11:00 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Corrina even if our kids are adults they're still our responsibility no matter what....my son is 19 and still lives at home and hes my responsibility and he will be unitl the day I die....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Feb. 27, 2010

  • Hand him a lease for his room...
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:55 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Your responsibility does not end at any age, my son now 22, never worked at all during his education but he earned a scholarship and continued to graduate with high honors. After graduation we found him a job through a mutual friend in a local tv station. He is learning as he goes, but ambition is something that comes with his image of self worth.
    My son still lives at home, he is now 22, and we are happy to provide him with an easier life as long as we are able. We have equipped him with the tools he needs to suceed, education and self worth came with the praising throughout his childhood. You haven't failed, find out why he is so angry through any means you might have.
    older

    Answer by older at 12:01 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

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