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please ladies if u know the law in the U.S or on marriage/divorces plz help me give me ur advice

hi,well ive been married for over 2 years,i was an emmigrant and my hubby made my papers so now im legal over here,we ve been having our ups and downs...we have a baby she is 1and a half now,im not working and pretty much i ve never worked before.i depend on him on everything since i dont drive or go out or anything...well we had big problems before and my dad sent me some money in my account in case if anything happen(bc everytime we fight he takes all the money for himself and leave me with nothing)so i opened an account (with my last name as married)and now im scarried can he touch that money?and if we get a divorce can he still touch it?or do i have to share with him?plz ladies i really have no one to help me out
thanks for the advice

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • if his name isn't on the account, the bank can't let him touch it. Doesn't matter that you're married.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • He has no rights to it at all. It sounds like he's very controlling. Have you ever really thought about leaving, and getting on your feet on your own. That's the one great thing about America. You don't HAVE to put up with a horrible relationship and there are people here who will help you to leave, find a job and make it. You have many opportunities laying in front of only have to take the first steps to get there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • if you are seriously thinking of leaving him or that he will leave you, i recommend reaching out in your community for support. I would try churches first I think. I would also try to find someway to get some job training. Here there are Workone offices that can help I think. I know they offer services for people on unemployment. I think if this is a serious issue you need to try and make connections outside of your marriage. You will need a support system and you will want to have options so that you don't feel so dependent on your husband.

    and, as anon55 said, if the account is in your name only (last name doesnt matter), then only you have access to the account. just make sure you do not put his name on the account.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:08 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • It depnds on the state in which you live. Some states look at all property in a marriage as shared, no matter whose name is on the account. This includes bank accounts, investment accounts, pension funds, and retirement accounts. Your best bet is to contact a lawyer in your state and ask. You may be able to find a lawyer who will answer those questions for no money through a local woman's shelter.

    Answer by indymom22 at 11:13 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • The joint property mentioned above is considered when going through the actual divorce.

    until that point, as long as it's just your name on the bank account, only you can touch it!

    if you get divorced, the court will get a list of all of both of your assets and divide those equally.
    so tip for that - withdraw it before filing! they can't find cash!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I agree it depends on the state. In many states half of that money would be his. If you are going to get divorced what you need to do is take that money out of the bank and send it back to your father for safe keeping. Then as you need money your father can send it to you or after the divorce he can send it to you. If you take it out and have cash, legally you would have to tell about it.

    You need to get a driver's license. You could use some of your father's money for driving lessons. It's possible to get a car cheap. Our minivan was $300 and it's lasted 3 years with no problems.

    Look for organizations that help women in your community. There should be a group that helps abused women. There may be groups that help women that are in danger of being homeless. That could be you if you get divorce. They can help you with what is available where you live to help you until you are able to support yourself.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:30 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • definately start saving your money now. if you dont already have a separate account, get one and dont tell him about it. divorce laws vary from state to state... google. in tn, you have to file, then be separated for three months before you can finalize a divorce. having a child makes things more complicated because now you have to have a parenting plan and custody battles. keep your nose squeaky clean, your chin up and play this game very smartly.

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 11:34 AM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I did that. I had money but kept it a secret. My x had a drinking problem and spent bill money on booze so I hid money. The main thing is to not let him know you have it. That's the best way to keep him out of your account. I would think the bank would not let him in it (ask the bank) but someone the other day said her dh got in her account and took her money and was not on her account. There is no crime in that but if you divorce him you have to claim it with the court so it's not like you were hiding it from the court and the irs. If it's a gift from dad I don't think it's taxable unless it is high dollars like in an early inheritance. Your best best is to talk to an attorney. There are some free legal sites where you can see what your state law is in case you don't know how to search your state statutes. I've used before (that is 2 v's and not a w)

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • if you find out that your state's laws state that all property would be divided equally in the divorce, maybe you can put it in someone else's name that you trust?? i know that may not be right, but if he is really that controlling it may be an option to consider.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

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