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stressed... bad mom?

ok.. i don't think im cut out to be a parent.. i get so annoyed with her so easily, shes whiny, bratty ,needy, i have no life i miss having a life vs 24/7/365 care to some one else.. and a father that well wants more but why.. he works all day he dont have to deal with her.. shes 15 months.. and since ive had her my blood pressure has gone up i started getting acid reflux.. i do love her i do.. but its like i wish i could just rewind time and give her back sometimes! i just need a break so bad.. right now shes in her room crying cause NOTHING has been making her happy! crying over everything.. i cant deal with her right now.. so shes in her room with her toys and her cartoon.. i just cant... or ill snap!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • Stress symptoms include mental, social, and physical manifestations. These include exhaustion, loss of/increased appetite, headaches, crying, sleeplessness, and oversleeping. Escape through alcohol, drugs, or other compulsive behavior are often indications. Feelings of alarm, frustration, or apathy may accompany stress.

    Remove yourself from the stressful situation
    Give yourself a break if only for a few moments daily Don't overwhelm yourself
    by fretting about your entire workload. Handle each task as it comes, or selectively deal with matters in some priority. Don't sweat the small stuff
    Try to prioritize a few truly important things and let the rest slide. Selectively change the way you react,
    but not too much at one time. Focus on one troublesome thing and manage your reactions to it/him/her. Learn how to best relax yourself
    Meditation and breathing exercises have been proven to be very effective.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Do you have a mom or a sister that can keep her for a few hours? Can you put her in daycare one day a week, so you can get some you time? I think it is perfectly fine to put her in her room to play by herself when you need a minute to unwind. Also when she naps do something for you, do NOT do the dishes or housework. Read a book, drink some coffee, veg out on the computer for a bit. Moms need some time to recharge too. Can your dh help with the house work so you don't feel so overwhelmed? Could you have some mild depression?
    Big hugs Momma!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:05 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Honey I felt the same way and my son is 14mths old. I didn't want kids and I get stressed easily, I am now a stay at home mom and didnt want that either. I was very independent loved doing what I wanted at any given time.
    I love my son and wouldn't change anything at this point but I had to eventually break down and get help. I had to ask my friends and family to take my son overnight or just for a few hours so that I could breathe. Ask for help!! It makes a huge difference. Take naps when your child does because it will help with the stress!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I'm sorry. Wish I could be there to help. I have a grandson about the same age and I take care of him 3-4 days a week. My son is a SAHF and student and he says he would go crazy if he didn't have me to give them a break. His wife works because she just isn't into being a mother. She breastfeeds and we are so happy she does that. That's all she has to do.

    If you learn some ways to deal with your daughter in a more positive way you can turn her into a joy to be with, at least most of the time. Punishment can turn toddlers into little monsters. Screaming, making messes, hitting, tantrums, uncooperative, mean, ect. There are other ways of parenting than punishment.

    Love & Limits is a good first book. It's by Elizabeth Crary. She has a website called Star Parenting.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:27 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • You need some me time. Can you have a girls night out? Do you have someone to take her for a day so you can go be free for the day?
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 12:48 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • You being stressed and angry effects her as well. She can tell when you're upset, and that can in turn make her upset. I know how difficult kids can be. I'm 20 years old and have 2. An almost 3yr old and an 8 month old. Trust me, I know how frustrating it can be. But you need to calm down. Get some help. Put her in day care a few hours a week...or get a friend or family member to babysit for you every once in a while. Everyone needs a break. This does NOT mean you're a bad mom. I'm guess you're young too...I had a lot of help with my first, I live with my parents and my mom was always there to help when I just felt like throwing my newborn through a window lol. Family help and support makes a big difference. You need to talk to someone, and get some help because she will drive you crazy if you don't. You need to have some "me" time to relax and be stress free. I hope you can find some help. Good luck. And remember she loves u
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • YOU'RE NOT ALONE. IF U EVER NEEDA TALK WRITE ME..... I TOTALLY FEEL YOU.
    WHEN I 1ST HAD MY SON I WOULD TAKE HIM TO MY MOM AND TELL HER "TAKE HIM BEFORE I THROW HIM OUT THE WIDOW" MEANING I WAS AT MY WITS END AND COULDNT TAKE IT ANYMORE. HAVING A CHILD IS THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVERDONE IN MY LIFE. IT PUSHED ME TO THE LIMITS OF EVERY EMOTION I HAVE AND EXHAUSTS ME. WHEN THAT HAPPENS IT DOESNT MEAN YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD LESS, JUST MEANS YOU'RE HUMAN.
    YOU DO NEED TO FID SOMEONE THAT CAN GIVE YOU A BREAK. EVEN IF U JOINED THE GYM AND PUT THE BABY IN THE NURSERY WHILE YOU SWIM OR DO YOGA AND RELAX. AT BALLYS ITS 3 DOLLARS A MONTH FOR CHILD CARE AND A 2 HOUR DAILY LIMIT. OR 2 DOLLARS EACH TIME.

    SHE MAY BE TEETHING SO THATS WHY SHES S FUSSY, OR MAYBE SHE IS SIMPLY BORED. TRY GIVING HER NEW TOYS--THRIFT STORES ARE GREAT FOR THAT JUST MAKE SURE YOU CLEAN THEM WELL. OR SIT IN THE CAR WITH HER AND LET HER CAWL AROUND WHILE U RELAX
    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 5:57 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

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