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How far into a relationship is it ok to have sex? Weeks, months, years?

I ask this because there was another post about having sex with men too soon and not seeing the "red flags" because of it.

Myself personally (I'm sure I'll be bashed but I am not ashamed) had sex with my fiance on the day that we met. It was love at first sight and we just knew. We tried for four hours NOT to have sex (if that counts, lol).

Answer Question

Asked by worriedmommy600 at 2:03 PM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,335 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • In Steve Harvey's book Act Like A Lady Think Like A says wait 90 days and the man will have more respect for you. I guess my answer is to each is own.. Though I did wait 7 months before we did anything..It was worth the wait... But all I have to say is play it safe to anyone..use protection.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I personally think it's best to wait a few months at least. I feel like sex should be saved for marriage, but in the very least, serious relationships. I've never understood casual sex.

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:14 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • With past relationships it was generally weeks.
    With my DH, we knew, just knew, that we were it for eachother. We waited til the 2nd date, which was only a week apart from the first. If that makes me a whore so be it, but we're still together almost 3 years later and it's my longest relationship yet!

    Answer by jmpeskie at 2:17 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • jmpeskie, same here! I waited a year to have sex with my ex husband and we had a HORRIBLE relationship. When you know, you just know and it is SOOO much more than just sex. I never believed in love at first sight until it happened to me. He is also a good christian man, works hard, and has a good head on his shoulders. I don't worry about people thinking I'm a whore either because we have also been together for 3 years and would be married if I wasn't in college.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 2:21 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • i waited for 6 months. it was that moment when we fully understand each other. now we are happily married with 2 wonderful children. its a mutual thing. don't force yourself to have sex with him because he wants to and his pressuring you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I do think that for a lot of men, early relationships are all about sex. There is nothing else, it's all about sex and if they get it, they lose interest in the relationship. On the other hand, if they DON'T get it, they get bored and move on. The trick is to cultivate mutual respect. Sometimes that happens immediately and sometimes it takes months, but if a man really likes you and wants a relationship and not just sex, he will wait for respect to develop first.

    For me, I was young. I was afraid of sex ruining our relationship, so even though we respected and loved each other LONGGGG before, we waited almost 10 months. Looking back, we could have had sex a lot sooner, but like I said, young and scared lol. We're still together after 6 1/2 years, so obviously we're doing something right :)

    Cultivate respect first, however long that takes for you. You'll know :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:59 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • It really depends on what the persons standards, or morals are. For some its one day, others they want to wait until they are married. My SO and I waited about a week before we did, moved in together 2 weeks after that, and have now been together for almost 3 years about to be married.

    Answer by Mom_of_2_boyz87 at 3:07 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I think you should wait at least a few months..that being said it is different for everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I always meet guys who want to wait. My current husband and I dated a month before I had to ask why he wasn't trying to have sex with me.

    He said, "Well your a person first, and I would like to get to know that person first"

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I personally believe you should wait until you are married to have sex. You can tell if you have a good physical connection without actually having sex.

    Answer by jillybean703 at 2:42 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

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