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is a person born who they are or is it learned from society? is it possible that maybe some people aren"t really who they are when they are kids. I always thght that kids traits were natural and inborn and that is who they were.could it be possible that maybe this isnt true. what do you guys think? please read onto see where i started wondering. Thanks in advance!

I have a younger brother and as a kid he was the most outgoing and happy kid ever. He loved everybody and he showed it. However, he was abused. Now, he is very quiet and guarded. This was a long time ago and he knows now that it wasn"t him and it is due to this person being skrewed up in the head at the time.He has a great job&wife also.I wnt to know if you thnk people "just change" and inborn traits dont last forevr.For instance, a lot of people, myself included b4, have acted in ways that we thought would make people like us.For ex., I went out all the time in my teen years but as a kid, I have always been a home body as I am now. For many years before I realized my self worth doesnt have to depend on pooeple likeing me or being cool, i was untrue to myself without realizing.I love my bro so much and just want him to be happy and true to himself.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (5)
  • People change as time goes on. It doesn't always have to do with who they were as a child. Personalities develop and change, and part of it does have to do with the environment they are put in, their life experiences, etc. It doesn't mean that they were faking it as a child. I just means they've changed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I think people change because as we grow we are opened to the "real" world. We are bombarded with sex, violence, hate, war, etc and that changes us, our outlook on people and our attitudes toward others.
    With all the responsibility that comes with being an adult (jobs, marriages, kids, money) we choose to get lost in all of it and we aren't as happy and we lose ourselves.
    Not to say growing up is a bad thing..everyone has to do it, but our situations change, and we need to keep our humble, meek, happy, unpredjuduce, compassionate kid charactersitics alive and kicking through our adult years. I truly believe the world would be a happier, safer, and better world to live in!.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I think the answer is both. We are born w/ certain personality traits but I also think our lives are colored by our experiences. Our personalities are evident as children but we learn from the things that happen to us. I was abused in my marriage and now I have trust issues. That is learned behavior. My ambition and drive was evident I am told by the time I was 6. That would be an inherited trait.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 4:12 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Both play into it, we are born a certain way genetically and chemically but MOST of who we are is from our environment. If someone is abused physically, sexually or mentally, they get damaged ideas about life and themselves and other people and they start to see things differently. But that isn't the only thing that can change you, LIFE changes and changes us too. I use to be the happiest most hyper kid too, never got abused but life changed and I had to grow up and things got harder and now I'm down all the time too. I wouldn't say that he isn't being true to himself just because he isn't as upbeat, if he is functioning in his relationship and at work and is good to his wife, chances are he has just changed because of his life changing around him. I wouldn't worry too much unless he stops functioning or communicating or he gets suicidal. It sucks but we can't help how our brains process change.

    Answer by teardrop_7060 at 4:14 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I think you are born with your own personality. As a mom, I can tell, starting at infacy, how my children each had a different charisma.

    If a person has been abused, I dont think that personality goes away entirely. Rather its just layered over with a new one temporarily. Until that person seeks help, counseling, regaining trust, etc, those old traits will reappear.

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 10:11 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

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