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My boyfriend has seizures

I have been with him for 3 and a half years. He has epilepsy and I've seen him have seizures. As a matter of fact, he has had them during sex. I also have a daughter that has seizures, but not as much. My question is, sometimes I feel like it's too much because I have to worry about him and also my daughter. Should I think twice about having a future with him? I know it sounds cruel because he can't help it, but when I think about getting married and kids, it makes me feel like I would be the one to have to run to either him or my daughter. I just don't know...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I've had a seizure disorder for about 10 years, the doctors still don't know what caused them. Mine a pretty controlled (it's been about 4 years since my last one) by the medication I take. Is your DH on anything? But really having seizures does not mean you are cripple. I live a very "normal" life ... I drive a car, stay home with my kids, getting married, I've had a job in the past. I've never let it control my life or the people around me.
    Mom_of_2_boyz87

    Answer by Mom_of_2_boyz87 at 10:58 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Don't think too hard on it. Yes, having someone with a disability as a husband is hard (trust me, I'm still living through it) but if you love the person, really love the person, then it's something you can work with. Trust me, I married my husband before he had his injury, and it changed him a lot, but I still wouldn't trade him for anything, despite all his problems and all that we've been through and still deal with on a daily basis. If the love is there, it can help you through.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Is your daughter his too, biologically? From my experience, talking to a gal who's DH was dignosed with major seizure issues (not epilepsy, they have never figured out why he seizes, but have done brain surgeries among other things) before marriage, she said they decided from the get-go not to have kids - mainly because she didn't want to feel torn between kids & DH, plus they didn't want to pass it on to any kids. So you'd have to make that decision - have more kids and chance it, or be sterilized and know you can't have more kids, ever. She had to give up her dream job, because he can't drive - if she pursued her dream job, he'd be alone many hours of the day, would have no way to get to doc's appts or work (too far to walk), etc. After 18 years she's decided to go back to school online while working the same place & the same hours as her DH. Their lives are definitely not the same had they not married, but they still are!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Chances are they won't have them at the same time so it wouldn't be a matter of choosing. I don't know about all people, but most people can get them under control with medication taken properly as you know. My nephew has them but with the right meds, low stress and not getting overheated he does fine. Maintains a wonderful life with his girlfriend and a full time job.
    It's up to you tho but even tho my hubby doesn't have seizures, he does have a couple of health conditions that are sometimes a pain in my butt and I'm petrified I'm going to lose him, I wouldn't trade him for anyone in the world but it's a personal choice but I hope you don't tell him why you're thinking about dumping him... after all your own child has them too, would she think you wish you could get rid of her too or how would you feel if someone wasted years of her life only to dump her because of hers?
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:22 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • my mother has seizures since i was a baby. yes sometimes it is hard. but it teaches your children compassion and empithay. look in your heart and if dealing with his disablility isnt worth it then move on. i take this very personal because it has affected my life so much. he deserves better than someone who may not be emotionaly ready to handle it. after three years why is it just now becoming an issue for you? my mother is wonderful and i wouldnt trade it for anything. she now has three grandkids and none of her kids or grandkids have developed seuizers.
    KJ_on

    Answer by KJ_on at 7:42 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

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