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What should I do? I need advice bad!!!

My husband and I have split up. We have been together 5 years and a 4 year old boy. He is in the army and just got back from a year in Iraq. He spent 1 1/2 year without me and our son in Texas . So we had about 3 years apart. Those 3 years were so hard on me. And while he was off getting use to not having us around , I was trying to raise our son on my own with very little money help from him. When he came back from Iraq, I was with him for a month. I just couldn't handle it. He was out almost every night til 2-4 in the morning and coming home wasted. So we split up. He told me he "needed" time. He isn't sure he can handle being a dad and husband anymore. He swears he still loves me but , of course I am questioning that. I love him so much. He is the only future I have ever planned. Now I'm living with mom who can only let us stay for a month and my husband says thats not enough time to decide what he wants. What do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • if you are married you are entitled to BAH. Do you guys have a home? He can go live in his barracks while he takes his "time" to decide. otherwise its yours and your childs home. My ex husband did the same exact thing to me when I was preggo and had a 1.5 year old. Same story. If you need any help with the military let me know, send me a message. You are entitled to alot, and you can contact his command and let them know about his behavior and that you need to have a home for you and your son.

    Answer by LynnB1 at 7:39 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • I think he needs to give you an allotment for food and housing and then he can go "find himself"

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:34 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • You tell him that he married you for better or for worse and that he needs to grow up, grow a pair, and be the husband and father that he should be. How very immature of him!! We all need "ME" time. It's called 30 minutes in a hot bath with the door locked after all the kids are in bed.
    That being said.....He probably needs to take advantage of some Army conseling...he just came home from a very nasty place and needs to talk to a professional.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • He needs to get professional help and you need to be financially supported by HIM. Emotionally continue to connect with family and friends. You may want to go back to school to prepare for a good future no matter what happens.

    Answer by SFerber at 5:37 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • he's not giving you money?? he has no house up there, but married, which means he has BAH given to him, then while being deployed extra money there, he has plenty of money to send to you so you can get by with your son. the BAH is based on where you live, but say if he were stationed where we are he'd have about $830 for BAH then with him being deployed that's like an extra $500 depending on his MOS...he gets more than enough to help you and your son out, since he's going out all hours of the night he probly blows every penny oh drinks or something. contact his Company and explain what's going on, i think they call that negligence, seriously find a group on CM or go to the post website and see if you can get his company's number and talk to the company commander or the FRG (they will lead you to the right person to talk to). he still has to give you money even though you're seperated.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Feb. 28, 2010