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How to get my husband to do things round the house?

My husband does not know how to pick up nthing he puts down,doesn't do outside work-he thinks my 15 yr. old should do the mowing and things.I love him -been married 2 yrs. march,together for 5 and I do everything at home he works come in and NOTHING!I do man and woman job at home.He doesnt spend time with the kids like he can,and doesnt pay me or kids att. when he gets home,all he studies is that TV.I want to hit it with a bat.I just need some answers PLEASE !!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would have a talk with him about it, Since you are just now saying something after 2 years it is going to take him some time to get used to. I am not saying it is right, but since it has been this way he most likely doesnt think anything about it. My husband will help around the house but I cant expect him to just do it, I have to ask him to do it or remind him. Every Wednesday night I have to remind him to take the trash out, it is very annoying but that is just how it is! If talking to him doesnt work just try asking him to do something, like taking the trash out or doing the dishes!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 8:37 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Talk to him first, he probably doesn't know he is going to get conked w/ a bat. Second ask him nicely to do what you want him to do. You have to decide how nuts you want to get. I did not wash anything that wasn't in the hamper. I also let them pile up where they laid, ran the vacuum around them. When he ran out of clean socks, I pointed at the floor. If his shoes were in the middle of the floor after I asked him twice to please put them away, they got thrown in the yard. Can you do that? Now don't forget it's been like this for a while, so be patient.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 8:46 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • You still have time to change patterns. Find an opportunity to talk to him alone, but I would focus on the most important issue, which I consider spending time with you and the kids. That's much more important than housework.

    My husband still doesn't pitch in most of the time (unless we have company) and doesn't do yardwork. When things get out of hand and I am physically unable to do it (like trimming trees), I just tell him I'm going to hire someone to do it. He says "OK". Your husband might start thinking about how much money can be saved if he just gets outside for 3-4 hours and does it himself.
    I would still work on the spending time with family right now though. That should be his priority.
    chocaholic888

    Answer by chocaholic888 at 8:54 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • have you communicated your frustrations to him in a way that doesn't make him feel backed in a corner? Men tend to feel backed in a corner if you dump a load of emotions on them and they shut down...
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 9:02 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • This is an easy fix.. Hire someone to come in and do the cleaning and laundry a few times a month. Once he sees his money going out the door, he might be more apt to want to make an effort to help out. If he isnt going to do anything now, why should you?
    Melindakc

    Answer by Melindakc at 9:23 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • what would b his reaction if u stopped doing everything?? would he notice?? then u could bring up what is bothering u. sounds as if he is lazy and is enjoying taking atvantage of u and all the work u r willing taking on. he wont change without some encouragement if at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:53 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Make him a honey do list.

    Your son and your hubby should be out side helping each other.

    If he has always been this way, than you might of made a big mistake? thinking he might change?
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:41 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • He is being a bad roommate. Try sitting down with him and creating a weekly chore chart.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:33 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

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