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Help me with this please

Ok..for some time I have suspected that my 16 year old son is gay. Well he just told me that he is. I love him however I just feel sick. Some how I feel like maybe there is something I could have done different for him and he would be straight. Im crying now and feel like Im going to throw up. Will he go to hell for being gay?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Feb. 28, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • There is nothing you can do to make someone "gay." Regardless of his sexual preference, he needs to know how to be safe. You will need to be strong for him. God bless.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Hun, as far as strictly bible belief.. right from the Word of God... ACTING on homosexuality is an abomination and they will go to hell. Thing is, how I see it, homosexuality is a temptation--a very strong one at that--which means it doesn't have to be acted upon. BUT you can't make your son do or not do anything. If my son turned out gay for some reason... I would love him and be there for him but I would openly disagree with the lifestyle.
    Does he feel ashamed or like he shouldn't be? He can go to counseling. It doesn't mean the feelings will go away, but it could help him with NOT living a gay lifestyle. But if he really could care less, like I said, there is nothing to do but love him and be there for him, but not support the lifestyle.

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 10:18 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • You can't change who a person is and who they love. He was born this way. I'm glad you say you still love him and it's very understanding that you are shocked from the news. If you love him, it will become easier to accept. Just never stop showing your love for him, it's hard enough being different without your parents hating you. Just try to help him make smart choices. Treat the "talks" as if he were straight. Condoms should still be used.

    I don't believe someone will go to hell for loving a person, any person, man or woman.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • oh god. your son is not going to hell for being gay. it is proven now that becoming gay is because of hormones during pregnancy - its not a choice. why would your son choose to be gay when it is a hard life to live? its not his fault. "GOD" made him that way. its not a temptation. it is who he is, and he just wants to be happy. theres nothing wrong with him. i can understand your disappointment, but you should feel more hurt for him at the things he may have to deal with living a life where people think "hes going to hell". have your hurt, feel it, but love him, and realize hes not going to hell. thats so stupid. hes still the same son you always loved. he needs you now more then ever. do you even realize how many gay people there are? theres alot. i have an uncle whos gay. its okay. it will be okay. its just gonna take some getting used to.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:40 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • You can't blame yourself for it. People all believe different things when it comes to heaven and hell and noone here will be able to decide for you what you believe. I feel for you- it's a tough situation for both of you. Just make sure he knows that you love him either way!

    Answer by winkie_pinkie at 10:50 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • Oh jesus. NO he is NOT going to hell! You don't wake up one day and just decide "hey i'm going to be gay." I really hope for your sake that you were cool about it and you aren't being this over dramatic in front of him, it takes SO MUCH courage to finally tell your parents that sort of thing. You need to love him, support him, and be there for him. It is hard enough to be a teenager without all this. You need to take a step back and think about your son and his feelings and forget your own, this is not about you stop making it that way. Some of the best people i know are gay. Who's to say that being gay will put you in hell but being a shitty person that goes to church and lies every Sunday will not? If this is about religion i think that if you are a good person, like inside you are not evil, you have good intention there is not reason god would send you to hell. Stop crying and freaking think about it. Once you are done you

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 10:52 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • (continued) go to him and you tell your son that no matter what he is, gay, straight, or otherwise you love him and you always will and you are there for him 100%!

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 10:53 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • LogansMom...I did keep my cool. I did not tell him my feelings. I made sure he knew I love him no matter what and was there for him and gave him a big hug. However I am entitled to my feelings and just came here for support. I do feel confused and somewhat hurt by it. I know its not about me but I cant help having feelings. I hurt for him and what he must feel and how hard it was for him to tell me this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Feb. 28, 2010

  • You will find fantastic support here:


    Answer by rkoloms at 6:14 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Oh wow. Honey get over it. Gay or not he is your son. I personally don't believe in god but since you do, u should know that god loves all his children. Doesn't it say in the bible god has our lives already mapped out for us? That means god made ur son gay for a reason. If god didn't want homosexuals on earth he would not made homosexuality, whether it be temptation or not. Instead of worrying if he's going to hell or not make sure ur giving him as much love as support so he doesn't wonder the same. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

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