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Is it wrong of me to want to put my almost 2yr old son up for adoption?

I'm a single mom. I don't get child support. I have to work about 60hrs a week just to feed, and shelter my son and I. I'm never home with him. The babysiters are(there are three of them. They all alternate because none of them want to work 60hrs a week). I can barely make it by every week. My son is almost 2yrs old. I love him so much. But I feel like his life shouldn't be this hard. I can't be the kind of mother I wish I could be. Is it wrong of me to seriously concider placing him for adoption? I feel that he will have a better future if I do it now when he won't remeber. I love being a mom and I love him more than anything in the world but I can't provide for him. I skip meals because I don't make enough money to buy us food. So I feed him instead of me. I make too much(by the states standards) to qualify for any type of PA. I just can't do this anymore. He deserves more than I can give him. He deserves better than me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (18)
  • Do you have family that can help? It would probably be harder for someone to adopt a two year old because most are looking for babies.
    ldsdragonmom

    Answer by ldsdragonmom at 12:18 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • OP, have you posted this question before. I have noticed this type of question on here a lot of times lately.
    But to answer your question, being a mommy is a very hard job. There are many programs to help low income single moms. There are food banks to help you and other places as such. Good luck!
    ronjwake

    Answer by ronjwake at 12:18 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • to be honest i would rather starve then giving my baby away, i know you dont wanna hear this but things get better in time.hang on your already a great mom and trust me thats all your kid needs.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 12:20 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I think that you should go and talk to someone. Contact a local church or woman's center. Talk to them about your situation and see if there are any options for that you might not know about. Maybe you could get a roommate? Have you gone to the local food bank? Have you looked up other food programs in your area? Keep your head up and I hope things get better.
    mrsjonzy

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 12:20 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Oh Mama, I am so sorry. You are not wrong for thinking this. Could you in your heart really do this? There must be some kind of help out there for you. Where is the father??? This is a choice only you can make. I am very sad for you. Also for your son not being with you as much as he needs to be. I can't imagine you not being eligible for child care/housing/food stamps. Try again. God bless you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • No the father is not in the picture at all and no I haven't asked this before. I have no family that will help me. My own mother told me I should have had an abortion instead of a child. I'm completely and totally alone. SS told me that they just don't have the resources for my son and I to get any help. Unless we are starving or the electricity is getting turned off they can't help us. Plus they factor in that I get CS even though my ex never pays.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Contact legal aid in your county. They can help you get child support from the father and get the help you need through social services. All too many times, adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Keep in mind that there is no such thing as a legal open adoption. It's only a nice gesture.

    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 12:37 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Nope nothing wrong with it, you are being very mature with this.
    So many mothers out their feel the baby is theirs yet treat it like crap who feel it's their god giving right to do as they please because they are the mothers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Stir that pot Honey. I call BS.... TROLL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • If the ex is court ordered to pay child support, then you'd have to get him to sign those adoption papers too. Chances are he or someone in his family would want the child.
    If over income is the problem, then I'd cut the ours so I was eligible for benefits so I could see my child more. In fact, I'd quit all of them before I'd give my child away because yes, I am selfish that way. People that do put their children up for adoption, more often than not don't do it because they love the child so much that they want a better life for them than what they can provide but I don't think I could... I've read too many stories of what can go wrong in any household.
    Call attorney general with the information of where the ex is working and file whatever paperwork needs to be filed to get that money coming in. Again, I'd quit work before I'd give my child away.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:04 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

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