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When you ask or answer "how are you" do you expect or say okay? What would you think if you got this answer?

I was talking to my sister online today and started discussing how people expect you to say things are fine if they ask how you are. So, if you were answered with "My husband ignores me and our kids, we can't pay our bills on time, I miss my friends, I feel fat, ugly and gross, my husband goes out more often with his best friend then he does with me, and my kids run around destroying stuff and yelling until I want to cry". How would you respond? I just say I'm fine, but that's how I actually feel.
And please don't just tell me to leave. You need a home to move, you need a job to get a home, you need a car to get to said job, you need a license to drive said car...etc.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (11)
  • I have a friend who actually lives a life I wouldn't be able to stand...actually it sounds about like that, not sure to what extreme your sister feels it. I usually just say "Wow. I'm sorry you're unhappy, is there anything I can do?" Or I make a funny joke like Chandler from Friends...breaks the ice, lol...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I know you want sympathy, but you know what......
    I am in constant severe pain, my kids are sick, I have no money and my husband is struggling with some issues.
    Discipline your kids. Ignore your husband. Make some friends, take up a hobby.
    Lose some weight, I bet you are beautiful no matter what.
    ABOVE ALL ELSE, go to the doctor and have your hormones checked, including your thyroid.
    Strike the word FINE from your vocabulary...I hate hate hate that word.
    You are NOT fine. You need a friend. YOU need to take the steps needed to find such friend.
    Where do you live?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • i wish people would actually say how they are when you ask the question how are you...think of all the interesting responses you would get...like take this one ..."honestly i feel like shit. my husband wrecked my car and we can't really afford anything else to be thrown our way right now. my grandmother just died and tonight i found myself in a ball on the floor crying hysterically and i still have to face her wake tomorrow and her burial on tuesday. and to top it all off after a conversation with one of my best friends who just tried to kill herself recently i think that i might have borderline personality disorder too..." ...yea maybe i would stick with i'm fine too...not sure that a stranger would want all that unloaded on him/her..but i sure would like to see their face if i did...lol
    diablaherida666

    Answer by diablaherida666 at 2:21 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I live in Illinois.
    And lol to the last poster, I agree we'd be looked at as psycho's if we answered like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Well, Illinois lady,
    We all have our shit. Today is the day you feel bad about it. That is ok. We get to do that from time to time. I remember when my kids were small, my hubby worked two jobs and was never home. I was constantly sick and had no car. Life was very difficult. It gets easier as the kids get older. Hang in there....really. Life is hard at all times, but life is worth all the heartache and struggle.
    Keep calling your sister. I have two..they are my lifelines. :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • i would say that if you give someone too much information you are crossing the lines of healthy boundaries. most people as just being friendly.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 3:21 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I only ask the question if I really want to know the answer. When I am asked the question by someone who I know does not want the real answer, I respond: "tired and cranky"
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:42 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I usually just say fine, unless it's someone I know is asking for reasons other than social politeness. If it's my SO, my mom or dad, or a close friend, I will answer truthfully. Anyone else, I just say I'm fine b/c I know they really don't care about all my problems, and would probably think I was nuts if I ran down the list of everything that's wrong with my life at the moment.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:15 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Everyone has some troubles. First work on relationship with DH. If she is all alone at home the kids feel her anxiety and unhappiness and act out. DH needs to be there too. Basically, a response should be, "What are you going to do about it?" Start simple. Humor is a good way to bring problems into perspective.
    momx3gx1b

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 7:18 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • this is a great post so far. i like the idea of letting everyone say what the REALLY feel in a post of "how are you REALLY today?". there are days where i would love to unload on a stranger. but im too Mrs. Super Polite (im my own monster). if someone said all that to me, id more than likely give them a hug and let them vent their little hearts out. everyone needs a shoulder to lean on occasionally, even if its just for that overrational frustration of traffic jams! if i had to say how i really felt if someone asked me at the moment id say

    "my back hurts..again. im sick of being pushed to the side at my dr office. i think i have pancreatitis and im scared to death that noone will listen. my son is teething, hes my first so of course im doing 100 things wrong simultaneously. DH thinks i hate him due to lack of sex, im hoping to sell my house in one month. oh and i have to move back home so my DH can deploy for a year." :)
    FoxyRoxyMommy

    Answer by FoxyRoxyMommy at 7:52 AM on Mar. 1, 2010

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