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How do I deal with wanting another child?

How do I deal with wanting another child, and being ready, when my husband is not and even though we are not exactly finacially ready? I am despretly wanting another baby... and wanting to start trying in Dec 2010 (giving us plenty of time to get some things in order plus another 9 or more months after that). But hes always fearing lay off and will never hear me out...our son is going to be 2 in June and I don't want a huge age gap between our kids...and if we are going to struggle finacially I'd rather it be when our chilren are very young and don't notice..

Anyone else deal with this and do you have any advice?

 
stephanieplante

Asked by stephanieplante at 2:52 PM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 10 (478 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • my hubby's the same way..except we're having mirena taking out wed..YAY! sit him down and talk to him about it..tell him he can't get up or move until he hears you out..i kept pushing the subject on to my hubby bc he would change the subject or just not answer me when i brought it up..my dd will be 2 in june as well. is his job unstable?..explain that you believe tht he will always be able to provide for you and you son. do you have a job?..if so, explain that you will still have your money to fall back on. if you don't have a job, have you thought about watching kids (doing the in-home daycare thing)? its what i do, and it doesnt bring in much, since i just started, but every little bit helps..have you saved your sons clothes, toys, and car seats that he's grown out of in case of another boy? bring that up...kid's sale, where i live they have two huge kids sales a year, i always shop that..not just to save money but bc you..
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 3:33 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • well i guess we are kind of in the same boat here... except for i told my dh that i wanted another baby and he said he was ready when i was! lol BUT financially two kids just arents in the picture for us yet. Of course there are things like wic to help but maybe waiting til you BOTH are fully ready is a good choice. Enjoy your first born as much as you can and give him/her the one on one attention they deserve. Try not to rush in to things. if your dh isnt ready there is really nothing that can be done about that.You both will enjoy a second child more when you both are content with the decision youve made...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I also wouldn't want a huge age gap so as long as you aren't in a horrible place financially, I'd keep trying to convince him. If everyone waited til they thought they were financially ready a lot of people would never have kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • The World Health Organization recommends waiting at least 3 years for ttc. Waiting will be good for you and the new baby.

    Wanting a baby is a biological drive. Sometimes putting energy into something else can help. Get a dog or a cat. Do volunteer work, something you can do with your son. Start a hobby. Join a group for moms with toddlers, hope moms aren't pregnant.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:02 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I wasnt financialy stable when i had my son, and now he has soooo many things from variuos people who would give us there old baby thing:) i think if your ready go for it... honestly i dont think anyone is 100% financialy stable... and plus like you said you have 8mnths to get ready and plus the time you carry the baby :D good luck!!!
    megan1089

    Answer by megan1089 at 3:06 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I've tried putting my energy into other things but the burn and desire for a new little baby is there. I totally enjoy my son- he's a great little man...but gosh.. I so despretly want to complete our little family and worry about being financially sound later- when they are older and realize more. Kids don't care that things are tight when they are tiny...and don't even know it. We can worry about having the extra money for the extra things later on..
    stephanieplante

    Answer by stephanieplante at 3:07 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I just dont know the best way to talk to my husband... we are both virgos- both very stubborn and set in our mind sets.. how do suggest I address him about this?
    stephanieplante

    Answer by stephanieplante at 3:09 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • well you also dont want your dh to resent the second child an feel like its because of the second baby that things are tough... if he is not ready, he is not ready...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • but why is it always the woman who has to deal and wait till the hubby is ready? it's just not fair in my opinion..and right now I resent him for making me ignore my biological clock,, and for being the one to decide "when we are ready"
    stephanieplante

    Answer by stephanieplante at 3:16 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • ...can get twice as more for just as much money..and kids aren't going to remember/ know that mom shopped bargains..lol..as far as wanting another baby, and trying to get that feeling/want to subside,..you can't..it won't go away..good luck..feel free to message me if you want anymore advice.
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 3:35 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

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