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Im really tired of my 16 year old Step Sons tantrums And his Back talking Needing Advice.

Hello Moms, Let me say befor you judge me. That I have loved and raised my stepson since he was 2 years old. He was two when I came in to his life and I wanted to be a Better Mom then what God had givin him. His Mother used drugs while pregnate and then when Micheal was 6 months old she decided that she did not want him anymore. And gave the baby to his dad. Me and Rob have a great relashionship. But Micheal has been a hand full this last few months. Throughing fits, When he dose not get his way. He has even went as far as Pushing his dad and I when we tryed to get him off of the Youngest who is 9. He was beating on my nine year old son, And when we tryed to stop him he started to swing on us. Things have not been good since. I dont want anything to do with him. He has been getting smart, Running his mouth. And He always thinks that He can do what he wants. He has a Girlfriend and she is the same with her Parents. Im Lost.

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Asked by MOMofTwo_99_00 at 3:36 PM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (137 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Let me add, UNtil Micheal got with his GirlFriend we had a GREAT relashionship. But now its to the point where I am about to leave. Take my two kids and just Go. I dont know what to do. And I am not going to stay in a Home where I have to deal with this stuff. His dad Favors him, And tends to not get on him when he dose wrong, He gets mad when I tell him That he needs to be more stirn. He says that He is. But hes not. My younger two My daughter is 11 and my son is 9. We have been dealing with Micheals Name calling, Rude ness and his Lack of Wanting to be a family. He has nothing nice to say ever. Its to the point where my Youngest son, Is even talking mean to me and his dad. He respeats what he hears. And he looks up to Micheal. I just dont know what to do. So Please I need Advice....

    Answer by MOMofTwo_99_00 at 3:40 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Wow, this is tough. I would look into some family counseling that you and DH could go to with your step son. Maybe at a church if money is an issue. Your step son may have some issues considering his mom basically abandoned him. I wouldn't tell him you have thought about leaving, despite his attitude toward you, deep down he probably just views that as another mother leaving him. Your husband definitely needs to get on the same page with you, his son can't get away with being disrespectful, and while some of that is to be expected from a teenager, getting physical with you or his siblings can not be tolerated. Are there any consequences you can give for his actions- taking keys to the car, allowance, privileges, etc? Any way to limit time with the girlfriend? Don't forget to express love along with your disappointment and anger as hard as that may be at times. I really think some outside help would be a benefit, too. Good luck

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:20 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • do you suspect drug use at all? it seems like a lot of anger. if you can get the family into counseling it may help, but getting your dh on board might be hard! are you removing cell phone and computer rights? taking his license or car is a good one for kids. maybe the family could work on a soup kitchen together on a friday night instead of letting him be with the g/f?
    good luck! sounds so tough!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 5:23 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Family counseling is good. ANd remain calm and encourage him to be calm. Show him a good example. Teach him to communicate without anger. LISTEN to him. But please don't go ballistic or use bad words. Insist on respect .

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Family counseling may be the only way to save your family..

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:12 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I would definately look into some family counseling. one he is hormonal and in the full swings of puberty. this is the age where kids seem to rebel the most. so a lot of this probably has to do with that. another thing that is probably causing some issues for your SS is that his mother abondoned him. yes you have been there since he was 2....but his mother giving him up like that is probably causing some of his troubles. also if his dad treats him differently than he treats his other kids, that will also cause some problems.

    either way, i think you should try counseling before you just leave. especially if this has more to do with a girlfriend. if he was your kid, would you just leave him with his dad and take the other kids? you are the only mom this boy has....i would make sure that you do everything you can to avoid leaving.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:33 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • see if you can get him a tour of the juvinile detention facility in your area. Make him understand that if he's beating on family members that he will be arrested and sent there. You could also call the youth services in your area for counseling. 2 of my daughters are from my husband's previous marriage. We've raised them together since they were 2 years and 7 months. They are now 13 and 11. I'm dealing with similiar issues with my 13 yr old. I wish you the best of luck !!!

    Answer by cowboywatcher at 5:43 PM on Mar. 24, 2010

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