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My son was caught trying to play doctor! Need some advice!

Hi I just got a call from my daycare provider and she overheard my son daring his friend to touch his penis,,,,when asked he said he wanted to see if he could get her to do it-through his clothes. She is up in arms about this,,,and I am concerned, but I remember at 5 being curious about "private parts" as well. I offered to call the other parent, and assure her that we would be having a big talk about appropriate behavior. I want some advice on how to talk to him without making him feel that if someone touched him inappropriately that he could still tell me, Thanks! He and the little girl both just turned 5 if that helps.


Asked by kimigogo at 3:57 PM on Mar. 1, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • Its normal but... of course. Have the privates are private talk with him. You may need to reinforce a couple of times (I know I did.. they got the pipi's are private but had a harder time with booties are private too..LOL)

    The daycare worker should know better than to freak out so badly... its 2 kids the same age and its part of develpment.
    Maybe they need to do a privates are privates discussion too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • You tell him that his penis is his and should only be touched by him, that it is not ok for others to touch it. It is called a private part because it is something we keep to ourselves. I really wouldn't worry too much about this, it is VERY common in this age group. Good luck. Also he is old enough to really understand what a bad touch is over a good touch. This is the perfect chance to start the sex education that begins with names and types of touches. Good luck.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:04 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • A couple of boys in my sons class have been known for punching/kicking my son in his "nuts" as he tells me... I have been trying to get him to tell his teacher right after it happens so that the problem can be properly addressed. At this age, (and for the rest of their lives) boys will have a fascinatin with their "privates." You just have to tell him that they are called privates for a reason. Nobody but mommy or daddy should be touching his penis. And that's only during baths or whatever.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I was four when my 11-months-older-than-me uncle started playing "sex games" with me, and I was truly traumatized by it. By all means, have a meeting with the girl's parents-apologize profusely, and have a serious talk with the kids. I'm VERY glad the dcp caught them. I hope this turns out well for all involved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • There is nothing wrong with what happened. The day care person should know this. Just remind you son that his penis is private. Keep it in his pants and don't talk about it.

    Hope this doesn't get reported to cps. A mom called cps on my 3 yo saying he touched her 2 yo. The mom was a wack job and she ended up getting in trouble but we had to go in and talk to them on my son's birthday! Cps is supposed to investigate everything. The day care center may think they have to report it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Mar. 1, 2010