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Does anyone have an 18 year old at home?

Hi. I have a recently turned 18-year-old boy at home, and he is always fighting with his father. Everyday they are arguing about college and getting repect from each other. His dad degrades him and he turns around and points out all his dad's faults. There's never any physical danger, but the emotions run high on my son's part. He ends up locking himself in his room. I seem to get stuck in the middle. I also tend to agree with my son more than his dad, but since we're having problems I may be more biased. Can I get advice on maybe creating a calmer atmosphere espcially for my other teenages in the house? Thank you.

Answer Question
 
Jonaht

Asked by Jonaht at 5:01 PM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Looks like you and your husband need to work out your issues so you can come to a compromise with how to treat your son!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I've been a single mom to my 19 year old son since he was 1 and a half. I think at this age, it is fine to sit down with him and tell him just what is in your heart "dad and I are having a little trouble, but you still need to respect him" and "you are doing a great job, I know you go into your room to get away from him [us]". Let him know you recognize his struggle and that you are there to talk. Ask HIM his opinion on how to make things calmer. You might be very surprised. (in a good way, I hope!)
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 5:28 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I have 2 high school seniors still at home, they are 18 (just turned in Dec.) and 19 (turned last Aug.). We don't have any drama here. They respect me and they respect their dad, always have. If there are any problems or issues we all sit down and talk like the adults we all are. We have always handled issues like that since the boys (we also have a 22yo and a 23yo) were young. We talk about what's bothering us. My sons rarely fought with each other because from an early age (6-7) to articulate their their emotions. My husband would never belittle his sons and his sons would never be disrespectful to their father. they admire him way too much. All 4 of them look up to us both. Perhaps you need some counseling as a family? It sounds like a problem that may have been brewing for some time and now that he's an "adultt" your son feels like he can speak his mind.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Since you have other teenagers in the house you need to deal with your husband's belittling of your son. Life isn't always easy and it is never fair. If you don't get this fixed you will go through it again. Counseling is the only way to go here.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Thanks for the help! I have considered some family counseling. My son and I get along well. He's very quiet , but I try to make some time to ask him how he is without any other people around. Maybe I can get some counseling advice through the school before he graduates this spring. Thanks again!
    Jonaht

    Answer by Jonaht at 1:47 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Family Counselling.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • This happened at my house, it gets better with age..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I have a daughter that when she turned 18 her attitude did too, 2 months later she went into college and I swear if that did not happen I would have kicked her out...They don't have a clue until they are on their own! Now she is 4 months shy of 19 and her attitude is much different because she has to figure things out for herself and put up with her room mates
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

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