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Im wanting to move now with my Daughter but I dont want to have anything to do with my daughters dad...

so im in the cross roads im going to school for an RN nursing and i feel that if she is with me its the best thing he dosent even work he jsut had a job at wendys and couldnt even hold it because of his drinking i just want to move away from here... on the other hand i know hes putting my daughter in the back seat because he feels regret from not being there for the other baby when she was first born so he moved to Jeff city and is now helping the other girl out but he yet can go over to her house but cant come to eldon and watch her for me i have such a rough decision but i think he is really not a good father and my daughter sdeserve the best do you think this is bad? and she is two year old

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marymelendez

Asked by marymelendez at 5:53 PM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • you chose the one you had sex with. having sex.....can make a child. You are stuck with him until....well forever because he is your daughters father.
    There is nothing more annoying than women that "decide" they don't want the father to have anything to do with thier child anymore.
    Guess what...it's not your choice!!!! To take her away from him is horrible.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • If he is a loser who doesn't want to be a father or hold down a job, or have anything to do with his child, he doesn't deserve to be around that child. How many children have to be completely wrecked because of that ridiculous idea that sperm entitles him to endless chances? Dump that guy on his sorry ass and move on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • i think the poor girl was askin 4 advice not a pussy hidin behind an anon 2 talk shit on her. sometimes bad things happen 2 good ppl n surprises come. sometimes men lie n cheat n pretend 2 b different ppl thn who they r. if he doesnt act like he wants 2 b involved thn dont worry bout him. im pretty sure if he wants 2 find u he will b able 2. some men just dont wanna b bothered. ive bn thru this so if u wanna talk, pm me.
    tamizmama187

    Answer by tamizmama187 at 6:35 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • If he can't hold down a job, and is drinking like it sounds...then she doesn't need to be around him. That and kids can feel when they aren't wanted...so forcing him to spend time is just bad for her. I think you'd be in the right to take her away. I took my son away from his bio-father, he couldn't keep a job, and he wasn't a drunk, but he was a druggy. Thats just not a life for a child. You do whats best for her, not him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:50 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • The child deserves a chance to have a relationship with her daddy. You can do a RN program right where you live...you don't need to move. I think you are moving because of YOUR feelings for the bio-dad...you are NOT putting your daughter's interests first. You chose to lay down with a man who drinks and can't hold down a job, so you must deal with it. How would you feel if HE decided he was going to take the child and move away from YOU? You'd have a piss-fit. So why do you think the bio dad wouldn't have a problem with YOU moving?? Stop being selfish. It's time to grow up and accept responsibility.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Good for you for going back to school and making your life better. Don't move just because of him. If he can't come and see her then just let it go, he will drop out of her life on his own and you won't have to do anything. Then when she starts asking questions later, you can tell her the truth, that he had a drinking problem and it got in the way of being a good person.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 10:13 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Your daughter has the right to have a relationship, good or bad. If she later on decides to sever the relationship then that is her choice, not yours. My mom took YEARS away from me and my father and I hate that she did that and resent her a lot for it. Her and I are by no means close. My father on the other hand, him and I are not even talking now and he is a complete ass, but guess what, that was still my choice to make. It was my right to at least try, to let my father try to have a relationship with me. My ex husband was a raging ass when we were married and our divorce was hard but I MADE it work for my son. Would it have been easier to leave and not let him see our son, yes, would it have been right, no.

    It's not about you or your "babies daddy", it's about your daughter. She has the RIGHT to know her father unless he is physically abusing or mentally abusing her. Don't make your daughter resent you in the future.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:58 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I'm sorry if my post sounds mean in anyway (I re-read it and I think it sounds harsh...yikes) I just want you to know all the consequences of your actions and for you to know how the child will feel for having the oportunity to have a father taken away during her childhool (good or bad). I am VERY bitter towards my mother for doing this and I cannot stand being in the same room as her. She also did the same with my youngest brother who I am now getting to know and he is 18yrs old. She is psycho though so I'm not sure if that is a good comparison, but please don't take that from your daughter. I'm asking you as someone who has been through what your thinking of doing to your daugher.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:02 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

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