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Getting over the grief (after EP)

I went through a very painful and traumatic ectopic pregnancy in December '09. It has now been a little over 2 months and my body is back on track. My husband I want so badly to start trying again. But I can't help but ask "is it too soon?". Everyone says that the best thing to do is say your 'goodbyes' and handle the grief first and then try again. Well, here is my dilemma...I have said my 'goodbyes', nothing will bring my baby back or change anything about that situation. And as far as grief goes, just like all EP survivors, I have my good days and my bad days, but I will ALWAYS feel pain and grief. SO...my question is when should I start again? I'll never have a baby if I'm waiting for the grief to go away! I feel that I WANT to start trying again, but I'm afraid that it might just be my self-concious telling me I should be pregnant, well...because I should still be right now.

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PinkDaisey13

Asked by PinkDaisey13 at 6:44 PM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Trying to Conceive

Level 4 (46 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I would start trying whenever the doctor says it's ok.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • How long did your Dr say you should wait? If after that time period you want to try then go for it. I went through a misscarriage and wait 6 months. I knew for me I needed to let my body and mind heal. But everyone is different.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I had miscarriages. My Dr. said 6 months. I don't know if EP is the same, better talk to your doctor.
    CorrinaWithrow

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 6:55 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • well, my doctor told me that it would be ok to try after 2-3 cycles. so im pretty much in the clear as far as that goes. It's like, I grieve, i wanna grieve. It's normal, but I can't wait until the 'grieving' ends because I don;t think I will ever stop for the loss of my baby. so, It's like, how will I know when it's right to start trying again? ya know? I just don;t want to feel like I'm trying to replace my loss.
    PinkDaisey13

    Answer by PinkDaisey13 at 11:01 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I had an EP almost 2 years ago and the pain never goes away. It will get better just like the loss of any loved one but it won't ever go away. I would say have a conversation with DH and if you are both ready go for it. MSG me if you want to talk
    anitrasmith

    Answer by anitrasmith at 3:54 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I know what you are going through. it is so hard to think about those things. There were certain times that were harder for me than others. It took a long time for me to not cry every day. It is all up to you when you think your heart can handle it. It has been just over two years for me and I still think about what it would have been like. You just have to be strong and look inside yourself to get past this. I know it sounds silly but time does make it easier. Don't forget I am here if you need me!
    Bobbi530

    Answer by Bobbi530 at 5:43 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

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