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If your SO didn't propose after 4 1/2 years would you start to wonder if it was even on his mind?

We have talked about getting married in a someday kind of way. But I don't understand why he hasn't popped the question yet unless he doesn't really plan to. What do you think?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Mar. 1, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Sounds like he doesn't want to marry you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Not sure on that one but just for the record I was not patient and finally asked and he was saving it for my BD and then I ruined it by asking. You can demand and go from there or play the hard to get card and see if that helps, if he is willing to just let you go your own way then maybe he was not going to pop the Q. Good luck

    Answer by mepperly07 at 11:21 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • How long ago did you talk about it? That sure is a very long time. For me personally I would not be cool with that. I want a man who wants to marry me and nothing less. Commitment issues? No thanks!
    On the other hand though, how do you feel about marrying this man? 4 and a half years is long enough to know.. If you want to get married I would probably say something to him in a joking way, like, "you better hurry up and propose before somebody else does!"
    Give him the hint if you are ready for it. Best wishes, I hope he does and it's happily ever after:)

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:22 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Also want to add that you should not waste yourself on someone who is not ready when you are, that doesn't make him a bad person, just not the person for you.

    Answer by mepperly07 at 11:23 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Not trying to be funny but after 4 1/2 yrs why should he? He probably likes things just the way they are.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • Personally I would not wait that long unless I didn't want to get married either. I believe that if a man is really looking for marriage it will not take him a long time to know. That has been my experience.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 11:28 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I've been with my SO for 3 years this May, and for the longest time I thought he didn't want to Marry me. We did the samething always talked about it, but nothing ever happened. A few months ago I finally told him I wasn't waiting around forever, and then just dropped the entire subject all together. Okay so Valentines Day comes, totally un expected he proposed. Now I know he wanted to get married, it was just a matter of when. But maybe my commit about not waiting around speed up his decision. Okay so my point is maybe he does, but isn't ready quite yet. And you don't want to start a marriage that was forced. If you really feel he never wants to, and its something you want then leave. If not stick it out, but you can always try the your not waiting around forever.

    Answer by Mom_of_2_boyz87 at 11:42 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • He doesn't want to marry you, sorry. I would never wait that long unless I didn't want to be married either but sounds like you do. Let him know "shit or get off the pot!"

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Mar. 1, 2010

  • I disagree with all of the PP. My fiance and I were together for 4 years before he proposed. First we thought we were too young, then we ended up having our son, and then it was a financially issue. He finally proposed but would have done it sooner if we had the money and were in a situation where we would want to have a wedding.
    We are planning our wedding for this summer and I couldnt be happier. It may be a situation that most arent happy with, but it is exactly where we want to be.

    Answer by jenellemarie at 12:05 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I would have to say, if you want to marry him, ask him. propose to him or just be mature and upfront and say you are feeling like maybe this isnt gonna happen. it doesnt have to be a big drama, simply say"you know i want to spend my life with you and we used to talk about marriage, that is what I want for us, do you feel the same way?"

    Answer by Bearsjen at 12:34 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

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