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How to get over a Not Quite Ex Husband

My husband and I have been apart for 6years. He had left me for another woman, but we never filed for divorce. He says he never stopped loving me. I met a man two years ago whom I'm now living with and around the same time the other woman left my not so ex husband. My problem is I've never stopped being in love with my husband. Its not that I want to be with him its just that I don't know what to think. Well tonight I found out that he has a new girlfriend and it was like losing him all over again. She seems like a nice girl and I want to be happy for them but at the same time I don't want to let go. Why would we both hang on so long when we both have moved on? Has anyone been through this? I'm usually a strong woman and I've never held on like this in my past relationships. Some left me and some I've left. This is the first time I've ever felt so torn. I care deeply for my So but I love my husband. Bashers will be ignored

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:07 AM on Mar. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • HONEY!! you should not be in a relationship with ANYONE right now. You need to be on your own and working this grief out. its not fair to you or your current partner is it?
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 4:16 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I agree with sati to a point. However, I also think that you and your non-ex need to do something about the status of your relationship. If you think you want to be with him, sit down and talk to him. If you know you don't, then one of you needs to file for divorce. Leaving it hanging like this is not helping you with the moving on process. Obviously, you are trying to move on, or you wouldn't be with someone else. But by leaving your marriage hanging in limbo, you're leaving yourself in a position to kind of be stuck as well. Your relationship with this other man can never move forward, even if you want it to, until your marriage is over. Legally, officially over. You need to figure out what you want, and then take the steps to make whatever that is happen. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:14 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Im no help.. I could have written your post..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • This is why divorce is important when men leave and move on. There needed to be some closure. Get the divorce and start the closure now.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:15 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I'm in the same boat - I care about my SO deeply as well and we live together, my daughter love him to death, but my ex and I still love eachother, he lives with someone too, but we both know that the other is it... ya know? We have just learned to live like this until one of us makes a drastic move... stupid, I know, but its a scary situation to be in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

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