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Do you think being a stepmom early in a child's life makes a difference weather they will like you or not or maybe atleast appreciate you later in life?

I was very fortunate to have my sk's when they were very young (2 yr.s old and 4 yrs old) But I do remember treating them as if they were my own and when it was time to go back to their mommy's home they would be well groomed and well fed :)
and I remember getting a nice card from their mom saying how appreciative she was of me taking good care of her babies. It made me feel good and happy but now my sk's are in their teens and don't really come over as much of course they are doing their own thing but how I miss those days, they were really good kids. Unlike my own they are little annoying at times...why is that? Mine are (6 & 8) It's starts all over again only these kids live with me 24/ I would not give them up for anything in the world...I love my babies. I look at it this way my sk's gave me an experience on being a mommy and now I am better at I guess :)

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Mar. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I'd have to say yes, I think the relationship you have with the kids is stronger because you were there when they where small.If you still have a good relationship with them you should call & invite them over for the weekend.Ask them to do a movie *&* dinner night with you, hubby & the kids.Maybe they will like hearing that from you.You won't know till you ask.Whats the worst that could happen, they say no not this weekend they have plans, how about the next weekend then..? I think the more people who u have to love u the better.Good Luck~!~

    Answer by Stefono at 10:33 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I think its much easier on both the parents and the kids when the split was amicable between the bio parents, and when the children are young. Its the only situation they know. It def. helps when their mother is understanding and doesnt bad mouth you, or expect the kids to treat the SM funny. You were lucky! And the kids werent old enough to try to blame you for their parents split (ive seen some older kids try this and it plays out very ugly....) You should be thankful about the situation you walked into!! Not many have your for your own kids...IDK maybe because they are with you all the time they know exactly how to push your dont get to send them home either!

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 10:34 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I would say yes, the earlier the better than the child gets to know you and so forth and you have a chance to have a good relationship maybe....(:

    Answer by Dee517 at 10:52 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • It might make somewhat of a difference, but there are many other things that factor into it. I was 8 and my brother was 5 when our mom died and a year later dad remarried. All those people he dated in that time, I hated, and learned to not like women. My stepmom was good to us, but her son and my half sister still had priority. Even if she wouldn't have had a son already, I still would have been spiteful. I was mad at women, mad at my mom for dying, mad at dad for replacing mom with someone else, mad at stepmom for trying to replace my mom (even though that wasn't what she was trying to do), and mad that the one person I felt I had left in the world was being taken away, for good this time, by another woman. Since I moved out of their house when I was 19, I have a wonderful relationship with her, and everyone else involved in the situation. I understand where she was coming from, and she understands why I felt how I did.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Not in my case, all my step children are grown w/families of their own. When we got dh's X started the brainwashing, and parent alienation act. They only tolerate me, my hubby & daughter these days. They ONLY call when they need something.

    This was just in my case. It could be possible in others relationships/marriages. It takes all involved to raise these children...and, the BM has to allow you in. My step dad has been in my life since I was 2 yrs. old...he is MY DAD. It just depends.

    Answer by Loryl at 10:58 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I know I put birth mother bcz that has been in my case. It takes any 'birth parent' to allow you in. ; )

    Answer by Loryl at 10:59 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I do believe being their when they are little makes a huge difference as they get older. I love my stepson the same as my own. I have been their since he was 6 months old and have watched him grown into a very responsible young man. In the beginning it wasn't always easy with his mom but you learn to adjust and be the best person you can be. I talk to his mom quite frequently now especially since we are getting close to graduation and preparing for that.

    Answer by Kari126 at 11:07 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I was raised by only my dad and stepmom. She was cold and sometimes mean...I knew she didn't like us, but she was all we had. Weird to grow up with a mom like that. After I moved out, though, I started to appreciate the things she had done for us. She was always the sole breadwinner of our family, our dad was an alcoholic, and if we didn't have her, we would have been much worse off. I'm grateful she stayed with my dad for as long as she did...goodness knows she could have done much better...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I'm hoping that it's true that the younger the stepchild, the better the relationship. My boyfriend has a 3 1/2 year old son (I've been around since he was 2 years old) and I am having lots and lots of trouble connecting with him. Granted, he doesn't live with us (he lives with his birth mom in Florida and we are in NY) so he is only with us for a limited time every month or every other couple of months. Because he is not around so often, we don't have much time to connect and when he is up here, he doesn't seem interested in me (only his father). This aggravates me like no other (among other things with being a new "stepmom") and I find myself crying several times a day because nothing I try to get him to connect with me works. Please please please I am looking for some help or advice!!! Is anyone else or has anyone else been in this predicament?

    Answer by paige.alex at 1:03 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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