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what can I do to protect myself?

My dh is in a custody battle for my sd. There have been allegations of child abuse in bms home. CPS has been involved repeatedly. The last report was made by sds therapist about three weeks ago. Now for the second time in a year bm has pressed harrassment charges against me. The last time the judge basically told her that this is custody matters not personal. I have pretty limited contact with her. I am in the car at drop off cause we go to church right after. Her allegations against me are that I make false reports, harassing phone calls, and that I have lewd behavior at her home. I never even get out of the nor do I speak to her. Now, what can I do to protect myself from her doing this to me for the next 10 years? She just uses me to get back at my dh because of the custody battle or when something doesnt go her way. What can I do to make this stop?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Mar. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I would suggest limiting your contact with the mother as much as possible. Let your husband accept her phone calls or allow her to use voicemail (so what she says will be recorded ). Then just call her back but always make sure you use three way when you talk to her, so you can always have a witness. Also if she is harrassing you on the phone or text messages. Make sure you keep a record when you get the bill for proof for the police. She can say what she wants but with out proof it will be hard for her to prove.


    Answer by my2kids312 at 7:35 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Have him drop you off at church first. Just don't give her opportunities to drag you into it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:37 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Have her arrested for filing false reports.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 7:43 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • You don't have to be in the car at the drop off times. Try to stay away from her as much as possible, in order to keep the peace. Your presence will only exacerbate the problem. And make sure you are not disciplining the SD. Don't be left alone with her either. Make sure you have your husband with you when you are with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Thank you all for your advice, I however do not feel I should have to disrupt my plans with the rest of my family to avoid her particular brand of crazy. I have other children and they should be able to say goodbye to heir sister without a problem. We are always together at that time and are not always able to arrange a place for him to drop off us nor should we have to worry about that. I just ant to know legally want I can do to stop her from coming after me. Whether it is making a report against her or whatever, I am just not willing to disrupt the rest of my family for her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Have her arrested for filing false reports.

    I agree with this!

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:23 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Well, you can't control her behavior, only yours, and if you aren't willing to rearrange your plans, she will do what she is doing. It may be inconvenient not to be in the car, but your being in the car seems to be a problem for her whether it should be or not, so if you choose to be in the car, you can probably expect continued problems from her. Sometimes it's better to make some sacrifices so that the kids don't suffer.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:39 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

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