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How does arguing affect your toddlers/kids?

My husband and FIL fight all the time and when they do my FIL over reacts to the point of no return and starts screaming like a crazy man and has this really deep scary voice that even sends chills up my spine our daughter is with us when this happens she is almost 2 and I always have to turn music up really loud or put on a movie and turn it all the way up just so she cannot hear it now she starts yelling when he starts yelling and gets really frustrated liek she is scared I try to keep her from this and have told them both to act like adults and stop this or at least save it until my daughter is not around to hear. They never listen though and I am worried about long term affects it will have on her....it makes me want to cry....what should I do to help it

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Mar. 2, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (2)
  • This behavior from two grown men is ridiculous and especially in front of a small child. Of course, it will have a negative effect on her. She is learning that this is the way adults act toward each other. I would have a talk with your husband and father in law and tell them that this is not acceptable and that you are going to protect her from being exposed to this type of behavior. I would immediately leave with her if this starts again and would not allow the FIL and husband to be together when she is present if this occurs again. She doesn't need to grow up thinking that this is normal behavior unless you want her to act the same way.
    Lisahi

    Answer by Lisahi at 10:59 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • does your FIL stay with you?? cant you move out??
    ur dd definitely needs to be protected from their fights. take her out when you feel that its about to start. if she is sleeping then put on ear plugs to sheild her from the sounds (i think things like this have effects even in their sleep)
    if she will keep witnessing these things she will eventually grow to think if it as normal behaviour and will imitate it with her toys and as she grows up she may show similar behaviour with family, peers (specially those to whom she is superior to in age and relationship since its her grandfather she sees yelling at her father)
    keep explaining to both dh and fil. convince dh to go in for counselling
    do talk to them both when u feel they are in a good and receptive mood. and have magazines with articles on effects of arguments on kids placed strategically around so they will end up reading them.
    best of luck!!
    happymum2010

    Answer by happymum2010 at 11:02 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

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