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can't vent anywhere else cuz it causes problems...

I'm really SO sick of being the ONLY one that takes care of these three kids and then I catch "what have YOU done today!?" when I ask him to stop acting like the kids don't exist and to help out a little bit!! Now he's hiding in his "office" while i take care of the kid!
Seriously! I'm so stressed out I just feel like crying and never stopping.. or running away like he always does!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Mar. 2, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I could have wrote this post myself but i didn't.....my husband works I stay at home 24/7 do it all even on weekends when he is away or in his chair for 8 hours straight...our son is 5 and he has yet to help him with anything, can't even tell him to brush his teeth...it's so bad sometimes I feel like he is just a "private welfare" because my DH does shit around the house. yet there is some money available to get food and pay bills. I am his slave, the housekeeper,the cook...and if I say anything about wanting free time all hell breaks loose..because after all I "don't work" funny because the house and clothes do not clean them selves! and food does not magically just show up.
    2 years ago My DH did let me have a weekend off I came back to so much bitching and complaining that I will never take time off!! DH admitted that he can't stay home when he knows he could be fishing!!!!..men are jerks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • People who don't stay home with children don't understand what it is really like...
    kitten_shuga

    Answer by kitten_shuga at 11:46 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Can you leave him for a weekend to get away so he can better appreciate your work? God knows we all understand. I'm sorry, I think we've all been there. The best way to handle it is run the daycare cost by him, ask him what he thinks and tell him you're job hunting. Then, leave and let him do it for two or three days and turn your cell off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • first a big hug for momma.. i know its the toughest job!! im a sahm too and ya it does get to you when people think you dont do anything cause ur not getting home the bread and butter.
    i think you should for say abt couple of months just forget abt ur husband helping out with the kids. when u dont have any expectations u not tend to feel bad. dont say things that will trigger from him a response that will hurt you. just build ur relationship with him back. then slowly you could talk to him about how you feel you need some help cause urs is a 24/7 job. give him a choice of how he would like help. maybe he could take over the bedtime brushing changing and tucking in while you get to stretch ur legs a little.
    but one thing at a time.. sometimes you have gotta be the bigger person.. remember that ur kids will benefit from having a happy momma!!!
    best of luck to you!!! hugs :)
    happymum2010

    Answer by happymum2010 at 11:55 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • Ummm. I know exactly how you feel. I am fed up with my so too. Sorry I can't help just know there is someone out here that feels how you do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Mar. 2, 2010

  • I would LOVE to get a job!! and have the kids in day care! but he uses the van my parents bought for ME so that he can go to work. and theres no way i can make as much as he does..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Go stay with a friend over a weekend and let him deal with the madness.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:04 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • you need to help him understand without making him feel like shit, because that will not help anything. I have 3 babies that are 3 and under, and I am a SAHM. I know it can get stressful sometimes, but you need to understand that he has no idea what you do all day. Please do not just get up and leave them with him. If he's not there very often, then he might need some help understanding what to do with them. Just try to be patient, ok? My husband didn't understand how hard it was until he lost his job, and then he was home all the time. I slept, and he got up with the kids. I was always up in about 30 minutes to an hour, but it was good for him to realize what I did everyday while he was at work. Now I know that if I tell him I need a break, he understands, and will tell me to go out for a couple hours and have fun. I hope your husband will understand eventually. Just be patient.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Poster here. I would never just leave my kids with my husband, they wouldn't get taken care of. He'd just send them to their room or to bed so he didn't have to deal with them. Seriously, he's so lazy. If he knows they havent eaten and he's hungry he'll make himself a sandwich and sit in front of them and eat it and yell at them if they want some of it. He's THAT much of a jerk when it comes to taking care of the kids. He REFUSES. He KNOWS its hard, and stressful, thats exactly why he doesnt do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • it's funny, I am pregnant with our 2nd child and i haven't felt really good at all with this one.. I am 18 weeks almost 19 and my husband has done most of the cleaning due to the cleaners I don't want to breath in, and the cooking because I can't stand the smell of the food cooking..lol and also giving our 5 yr old showers.. He does this all after working a 10 hr shift... I do have to say it isn't every day but he does it a lot for me!!! :) the other day he said *i don't know how you do it!* It just melted me to hear those words I have to say I must have had on hell of a grin on my face.. Know that I am feeling better I am doing indepth cleaning, lol because just the basic got done till know but I am not complaining about that! Anyway I don't really know how to help you other than maybe showing him all what you do or asking him to maybe take one day in your foot steps and then have a talk about it..gl
    randilinn

    Answer by randilinn at 9:56 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

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