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My DD and her BF finally broke up after 2 years of ups and downs...what's next?

He was becoming more and more distant and ignoring her since they couldn't date outside of school. No more coming over here and eating our food and sitting on our sofa smooching (when we were out of the room), which he did quite a few times in the beginning. Controlling & moody. When we put a stop to it, he gradually started treating her poorly and ignoring her around his friends. She really said she just wanted to be loved, and was mad that he seemed to just want the former relationship. This guy didn't seem to want a "public" relationship. I wouldn't mind her meeting someone new, but really are suspicious of most boys, and wonder if that's all guys (15/16) want...physical stuff over a real friendship. Getting the girl alone all to himself. We want her to work on her self esteem (& love herself 1st), so it will be easier for her to spot the jerks next time. Any advice? We are SO relieved this one is history, however recent!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Mar. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • whats next? she will probably be looking for love anywhere from anybody in all the wrong places and will have sex with any of the little jerks from school just to hear "I love you"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • you should tell her to keep her guard up and be friends with boys. Let her know if they really love her they arent going to say it just to get a some ass. they will keep saying it no matter what. If thats all they want is a little kissy action on your couch then she needs to find someone who has a little more respect
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:45 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Unfortunately guys at this age are only looking for one thing, and sometimes in the process some do discover genuine feelings, but remember that those hormones are raging big time! Explain to her that in order to sort them out friendship is what she must first offer, if they do not take it it's because their agenda is sex, and this is one way of screening them out.
    Now she will look for a replacement without her realizing it, and although we would like to prevent heart breaks to happen and her picking out the right guy, they do learn from their mistakes, so mom, just be there like you have been and everything will be a ok!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:55 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I wouldnt be so sure they are over. Your daughter obviously thought there was love there and if he is just looking for some time to mess around with another girl...well when thats over and he realizes just how great he had it with your dd he might try to get back with her. I would warn your dd of this. The same thing happened to my lil sister. after a couple weeks they were back together.
    ellegrl

    Answer by ellegrl at 9:21 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • did they not go on dates because his parents didnt allow it or you? I would not date a person that couldn't go to the movies or dinner with me.If they spent 2 years like that that's no fun.
    ryanlynn

    Answer by ryanlynn at 10:19 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • So happy you care and you're ready to help her now that she's lost the loser. Now... help her love herself!! Really. The most attractive girls, the ones who are magnets to the guys with real ambitions and great futures, are the girls who have their own interests, their own activities, and a real self worth. The hang out on the couch losers are looking for bored girls who "need" them. Help her get active. Check out the library, the local park district, volunteer opportunities... When she feels active and useful, she'll not only have more self worth, but more to do and talk about with guys she meets.
    cutiemoose

    Answer by cutiemoose at 11:31 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • let her know that it is ok to be single. many girls go back and forth with a guy not because the "love him" but because they do not want to be alone. you show her the advantages of life and get her interested in something so that she has that to focus on
    tigermom09

    Answer by tigermom09 at 5:27 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

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