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Narcassist

Has anyone been told their husband is a narcassist and may have Borderline Personality Disorder with sociopathic tendancies? I know this is an odd question. But my husband has been so disconnected and selfish. I thought I could change him. But I was told my 2 psychiatrists to run. Fast and far and take my kids with me. It is a very long story. But the bottom line is they say he will never change and if he is supportive and nice it will only be for a short time and nerver be a "normal" marriage. I am so confused. Has anyone been here???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Mar. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • My uncle was this way.Terrible man,just terrible.He killed himself in 89.If my aunt would have stayed,she and the kids would have been dead first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • No, but if I had two psychiatrists tell me get away from him, I would. You have to think about your kids and what kind of life they will have with a dad who has "narcassist and may have Borderline Personality Disorder with sociopathic tendancies".


     


     

    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 10:59 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I think you should listen to the counselors. See if they are willing to testify to help you protect your kids adn realize that you may not get child support. My ex was crazy sometimes and other times seemed normal but the crazy times scared me alot!! i would never have him back to town over money..i would rather my dd have emotional stability over grocery money so I let him run.!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 11:05 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • SWEETHEART,It is so tough to love someone whom have a hard to loving themselves, is it not? First off I would be very leary of the diagnosis, "Borderline Personality Disorder", is diagnosed in approx. 0.2 percent of the population, and the majority of this disorder are in men. It takes many test, and several visits with Doctors whom specialize in this disorder. Having said this, has your husband been professionally diagnosed, with all the testing that is required? I also would take issue with a professional who would tell me to "RUN AS FAST AS I CAN', this would be the exact definition of "UNETHICAL'. Without KNOWING ALL your story with your husband and his tendencies, it would be unwise for anyone to give advice, this includes myself. As for "NARCASSIST", GOOGLE that as well. If you don't feel, only you KNOW if you and your children are in danger. DO NOT stay where YOUR FAMILY is not safe. Blessings, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 11:12 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Narcissist....sociopathic tendencies........
    Be careful. That sounds scary. I would leave too....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • As for "NARCASSIST", GOOGLE that as well. If you don't feel, only you KNOW if you and your children are in danger. DO NOT stay where YOUR FAMILY is not safe. Blessings, C.J.
    *****************
    Narcissist.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • OP- The doctors told me to get an attny well versed in personality disorders. It is just such a shock. I thought he was just lazy and selfish. Not a personality disorder. Now he is all ready to "do better" and change he says. But the docs say it is all an act. That he can't sustain it for very long. My head is just spinning.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • OP-
    I did google narcassist and it is him. The BPD does not sound like him. He isn't a rager. He is just always very calm and doesn't seem to care about anything unless it pertains to himself. And when I approach the issues with him it is never his fault and I should do more to keep him on track. I am not his mom or babysitter. If I thought for one second my kids were in danger I would run- far. But he isn't violent. He has been condecending. I will not make excuses. I am just going crazy myself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • the first 4 years were as you described... after marriage, and having a child of his own, and another on the way is when he became violent.

    IT WILL NOT GET BETTER. there is NO path forward with this personality type.

    Take the out while it still exists. Just because he is not violent today, does not mean he will not be tomorrow, or ten minutes from now.

    As for the children, they are learning that this is NORMAL behavior when it is not. Give them a chance at a normal life.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 12:15 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

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