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where do you draw the line with a 24 yr old who drinks too much?

My 24 yr old daughter recently asked to comeback to stay with me.Till she could save some money and get back on her feet.She was staying with her dad who I am divorced from years ago.He told her she couldn't stay with him anymore.She goes to work and then goes out to party every night.She got a second job on the weekends.And comes home the next afternoon.She doesn't tell me where she went and what she did.I do understand that she is only 24 and should have fun.But I think I am just making it easier for her to party all the time and not have to grow up and be resonsible for her own basic needs.I don't want to put her out, I don't know if she has anywhere else to stay.I can't just put her on the street.What do you guys think I should do?

 
evelynwest

Asked by evelynwest at 11:14 AM on Mar. 3, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 16 (2,667 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • It seems to me she is responsible if she is holding two jobs, she will have more than enough time to change her ways once she settles down, and beleive me they all do this. If it is financially better for you if she contributes to help you out, by all means ask for it. We don't stop being parents because they become of legal age, don't turn her away, her dad already did this.
    I have two adult kids living with me, one is 31 and the other is 22. My 31 comes and goes as she pleases, but has enough sense to tell me if she is not coming home so I won't worry. My son who is 22, works odd hours and has never stayed out all night and is very considerate. This is all I ask in return for living with me, a little consideration to know where they are in case they disappear I know where to begin looking for them. I don't care where they are or who with, I just send them a tex message with "are you ok"? and they respond.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:08 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Put her on the street. At 24 she needs to start growing up-that's not the age to party. It's the age where you start settling down and figuring out what you want to do for your life.
    SaraP1989

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:15 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • If you need money she should contribute money. If you don't like her there then tell her she has a certain amount of time to leave. She is working she should be able to figure out a way to support herself. You can put her out on the street if you don't want her in your home.

    She doesn't need to tell you where she goes or when she is going to be home. Your chance has come and gone for teaching her to be a grown up.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:20 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • She's ONLY 24.... let her get it out of her system. At least she is holding two jobs, she's not a bum! Let her be young while she can, the bitter pangs of life will beat her down soon enough!!!!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • She's already been booted from her dad's. I wouldn't boot her from your house cuz she is holding down two jobs you say. Does she have any kids? Tell her a new rule is she's gotta pay rent and utlities cuz you need help. Then if you can afford it put it in a bank account separate from yours for hers later. Let her know you know she needs down time holding down to jobs but you gotta be guaranteed money and to stay with you she's gotta first wait until payday and pay you for bills. Then she can fit in partying but not coming home drunk or hungover.

    Even though she's an adult it's YOUR HOME so You are ALLOWED to set rules about behavior and bills in YOUR HOME>
    I have a 25 yo, a 22 yo and a 17 yo. One of my two older kids is just moving out now. It's hard to have adult kids in the house. But there were and are rules in my house. MY House.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 11:25 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Tell her that she cannot live in your home and disrespect you. That she is a responsible adult and needs to start acting like one. If she needs to live with you to save money, partying does not help her save money. Start charging her rent. If you want, put it away for her and when she proves herself responsible to get out on her own, give it to her as a gift.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • She has no kids(thank you Jesus!).How could she take care of a baby at this point.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 11:30 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Charge her rent & utlities. You don't have to use the money. You can put it into a savings account for her. Then when she is ready to be on her own, she'll have the money for it. Make her buy her own food. Teach her how to budget. Show her pics of what she is doing to her liver.

    If she has money to party, then she has money to live on her own.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 11:31 AM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • She's "ONLY " 24 is BULL! She's 24! At that age, I had been married for 4 yrs and my 3rd child was on the way. I was a RESPONSIBLE adult.

    She needs to contribute to your household. She needs to be held responsible for the use of utilities, room, and board in your house. She needs to learn that there is no such thing as a free ride!

    I have a cousin about her age, well guess what - he does party ON THE WEEKENDS...when he's not working. He lives on his own (apt. with roommates) and pays ALL of his own bills. His parents PAY NOTHING! Would they let him move in? Sure if necessary...he's got a younger brother (over 21) living at home....BUT he'd have to pay rent, help with utilities and be expected to be respectful of the fact it is their house, their rules!

    I don't give a crap how old the child is, if they are living at home....MY HOME, MY RULES!!!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 12:39 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

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