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My kids are driving me insane...

I'm getting really irritated with my kids. I'm a SAHM and have a 4 year old and a 2 year old home with me. Constantly. I have a husband but he won't help with the kids because he says it's not his place. And I should do it because I'm a SAHM. All the time. By myself.
So far today, my 4 year old has dumped his food twice. He's pushed buttons on the dvd player and lost 2 rented DVD's.
He's fought with his younger brother because DS2 has: Bit his leg. Knocked his cup out of his hand. And jumped on his head while he was laying down.
I separated them. I put them both in time out (where the youngest proceeded to shriek like he was being killed.) I told them both that I'm not making more food until later if they're just going to feed the floor.
But doing everything alone is taking a toll on me. I'm miserable and have no patience. I'm tired of changing 1000 dirty diapers a day, breaking apart fights and listening to screaming. Help.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Mar. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • have you thought about putting them in daycare and getting a job?

    if being a sahm doesnt make you happy, then dont do it.
    Christina2135

    Answer by Christina2135 at 12:13 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I would not put up with that kind of disrespect from my husband. Pick one day a week and don't give him a choice. Leave for the day and do what you want. Also, don't cook him dinner or do his laundry if he won't help you with the kids. Tell him you don't have time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • OP adding: My family won't babysit my youngest son. They say he's too much of a handful. My husband will not watch him in another room just so I can get a break. The only person who will watch him for me, I can't trust to do it well. She lets him play with pennies and run around unsupervised. And lets her 13 year old nephew do wrestling moves on him then gets mad when I interject. So she's not an option. I'm just really going nuts. I'd never hurt my kids, but it takes a lot of willpower to get through the day without taking action on myself. I want to die because it's getting too hard for me to handle all alone. I have amazing respect for women who manage on their own and are mentally healthy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • that's the not the point Christina. The point is that she doesn't get a BREAK. tell your DH it takes 2 to make a kid, it takes 2 to raise a kid. the kids are BOTH of yours, he has to help with them too. it's rediculous. next time he has a day off, don't ask, TELL him you're going out. even if it is just to the library or walking around the mall for a couple hours, GO. don't give him an option. let him figure out that having kids by yourself is tiring.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • OP: My husband doesn't want me working. And since we have 1 car and I have no license, he won't take me to or from. He won't watch the kids even if I get a different shift than he works. He won't do anything that will make me more independent because he doesn't want me to have the freedom of leaving. But it's all driving me crazy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • It sounds like you are resenting the responsibility of taking care of your kids all the time and your husband's attitude. It doesn't sound like he is going to change. You have some choices.

    You can surrender to it. I became a single mother while pregnant with my third. 24/7/365. No family and we had just moved so no old friends. I choose to surrender to it, expect to do it all, and not whine about it.

    You can change the situation by getting help. Hire help - housecleaning, sitters, mother's helpers, ect. Trade child care with other moms.

    Change the situation by getting out. Join groups with child care. Join support groups. Just get out with your kids.

    Simplify life so things are easier. Chidproof better. Learn some new parenting skills. Exercise. Life is tough as a SAHM.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:21 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • well then leave him at home with the kids and go for a walk. even if it is just around the neighborhood for a while. or catch a city bus. go do SOMETHING without the kids. again, don't make it an option.

    or, if he's as controlling as you say, leave him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • why would you have 2 kids with this man? I mean, you had to know he was like this before and if not, at least after the first one..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • GET A LICENSE!

    Any woman handicaps herself by not having a license. What you describe can be considered a form of abuse. All wives have the right to a license and the use of a car. Contact a local abused woman's group and they may help you with getting a license if he refuses.

    Not having a license and the use of a car is worse than having to use a wheelchair. I know, I have had to use a wheelchair for long periods of time in my life.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:27 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I too am a sahm and yes there are times you go crazy I agree w the others though he does need to step up..has he ever thought how hard it's going to be when his kids want nothing to do with him because he never wanted anyhting to do with them? I went thru this when my kids was little they were only a year apart and very small and it was all on me until I gave him an ultimatum that he's going to help w the kids if not I may as well be single cuz I feel like I am now and I'm leaving no since in staying w someone who don't want to help care for his kids
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 12:30 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

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