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Does anybody elses husband go out drinking with friends to clubs. I cant tell you how much oit pisses me off! Mine doesnt come home until like 3 or 4 in the morning and he thinks this is ok!! We have 3 kids for gods sakes. I dont go out but he thinks he has the right to. We have been married for 8 years and I dont think i can take it Am i just crazy for thinking he souldnt be going out and drinking all the time? Is it a normal thing for men to do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Mar. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • What's it matter if it is normal? What matters is that it is not responsible.

    Answer by Gailll at 12:31 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • My ex husband used to do it all the time. Its selfish,inconsiderate and bullcrap! Part of the reason he's my ex ;)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Here's what you say(voice of experience here)
    "I see you like going out every night and not be with your family. That's your choice. However, that choice will not be working for me. If you choose to continue you may not be with ME much longer."
    You can't control what he does, but you can control who you are with. Once my husband realized I was serious things changed. He may have something really personal going on. He may be running from something and needs to slow down to figure out what it is.

    Answer by Steff107 at 12:35 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • its normal if you allow it. my ex did it...then i told him if thats what he was going to do and if he wasnt going to care about being a family then i wasnt going to care i stopped caring. Either he will come around or you will get tired of him being so immature and you will see that he isnt worth it and move on

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:43 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • The three PP are all correct. It is irresponsible, selfish, and childish. If he has a problem, he needs to know he can come to you with it and you will help him all you can. He is also being disrespectful of you and of himself. That is a sad place to be! Let him know that you love him, but cannot tolerate his behavior. It sets a horrid example for your children and hurts you deeply. Ask him to sit down with you and talk out his problems. YOU must remember to not be judgmental and calm. (That will be VERY hard to do, but I think you can do it!) It is hard to be calm in the midst of turmoil. He feels his life is out of control. Help him feel like he is in control again....and tell him you want to help as much as you can. You are his "help-meet", not his friends. Remind him you are there for him through the bad times...and you want that to continue, but he needs to be honest with you.
    I hope this helps.

    Answer by singnstitch at 12:48 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • It's wrong. I wouldn't put up with it. Either be a husband or be single.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • My husband did that and that is how he became my EX husband:)

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 1:37 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • To me it depends how often it is happening. My DH likes to go out to the bars when there is a band he likes playing, and will sometimes stay out until the bar closes and come home very late. I do not mind him doing this from time to time. If it was an evry weekend thing, I wouldn't be willing to put up with it for very long.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 1:41 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • It is not right. It is irresponsible and immature and selfish, especially since he is married and has three kids. My DH was like that too. Now he is my EX.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • No, it is not something that "responsible" men do. My dh is only out past midnight a few times a year, and that was usually coming home from poker night that is now at our house.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 2:50 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

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