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I have a sister-in-law who doesn't want me to spend time with her kids because I don't go to her church, I occasionally have a drink and I smoke because I am off of my meds I have no insurance. What can I do?

I stopped going to the same church about 3 years ago and since then she hasn't wanted me to be around her kids, unless it suits her. Like the other day she wanted to go to a revival meeting and didn't want to take the kids so she let me watch them but for the last 3 days I have called to see if they could come over and play or stay the night and she won't answer the phone. I have never ever put her kids in any kind of danger and never would. And she doesn't even know that I smoke And I don't do it in front of the kids or in the house so Now I'm sort of stuck.

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Asked by lexcamismommi at 2:06 PM on Jun. 26, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • Sounds like you are making an assumption. Has she told you this? Every parent needs to feel comfortable with who takes care of the kids. I know it is hurtful to you. We have a similar situation in the family. It really comes down to the couple with the kids is more interested in other people and things than the one they shun and won't let care for their kids. If it's any consolation, it really says alot more about her than it does about you. Cherish those few opportunities to have the kids and if you do a great job with them, sooner or later, they will be old enough to choose for themselves whether or not they spend time with you.

    Answer by manna1qd at 2:18 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I believe the only thing you can do is see where she is coming from. Talk to her about what you said above, Im sure she has a good explanation, and if she doesnt explain to her your stance. Tell her that you want to be a great auntie, and that youd love to have them be around you. Explain your situation and hopefully at least the doors of communication will be open, so you can see what her views are and she can see yours. Good luck with everything. ~Kristin~

    Answer by KristinRox at 3:01 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I'm coming at this from a different view point...if she is a hypocrite, which she sounds like it, then confronting her may only create further problems. I might just stay silent on the issue!

    Answer by MommaLucy at 5:18 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • Ask her why she is a Christian, ask why she thinks God is telling her to keep you away from her kids.

    Answer by weberbaby at 7:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I dont know if this will be helpful or not; but sometimes there are people that are just toxic and that DOES NOT MEAN YOU. Don't feel down or lower because of someone elses choice or problems. everyone has their own. I have been in your situation and until this person understands that love is the most important than she has a problem too. My sister is the same way; but ask yourself"has she ever walked in my shoes?"

    Answer by friendlyghost at 7:29 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

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