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How would you feel if your DH had old pics, & love letter from previos relation ships?

We been married for almoust 5yrs now. when i was pregnant with our 1st DD i found a big bag in our closet. I moved in to his place so I was wondering if i should look through it. After I thought about it I was like oh well his my husband so let me take a look. It was a bunch of letters, old letter & pictures. I read some of them & they were all from girls he use to see. I was so up set , why would he still have thouse letters if he wasnt with them. I didnt want to ask him because he was going to tell me why am i looking in his stuff & that i wouldnt want him doing that to me. I couldnt hold my mouth so i told him whats up with that bag. He was just like they dont mean nothing to me. I love you ect...
But he still has that bag with the pics & letters.
What should I do? Should i ignore it or get rid of it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Mar. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I would let it go. Some people just like to remember there past. Doesnt mean he doesnt love you.

    Answer by nsrush83 at 2:57 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Just ask him to toss them. Old letters and pics are simply things that people forget to get rid of.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:08 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I'd let it go - I have some pics of ex's up in my closet somewhere, and I have the sketches my ex drew of me. I just never take them out or anything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Mine has some and I honestly don't care. It has been over 13 years! I know that he loved his ex very much and it just didn't work out. He doesn't really look at them anymore. I find it sweet actually that he has them. He loves me now but I would never take away his past. Maybe if he looks at them he will remember why he choose me and is not with her.

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:16 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Mine has some from his one very serious girlfriend from high school. And we still read them. And we laugh at them and her spewing her love for him and how they'll always be together and all that crap when she cheated on him during their relationship. And we laugh at them. And he still has pictures of the girls he was with. I don't really care because I'm the only one in his bed now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • First mistake- invading his privacy.
    Second mistake- ASSuming that those letters and pictures MEAN anything.
    Third mistake- inability to trust.

    I still have pictures and letters and keepsakes from old boyfriends- Do I want to be with any of them? NO. Do I still love them? NO. All those things are to me are memories, which I am entitled to keep. They are unique to me, my life, things that happened, and provide a frame of reference for the past. There is nothing wrong with him still possessing these things, and the only thing you will accomplish by bringing it up, is damaging trust in your relationship.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:27 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • mine has one pic and i'll admit i was a tad jealous when i saw it but i didnt ask him to do anything with it cuz i still have mine too. Its just nice to have those memories...good or bad.

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:29 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Both DH and I are still friends with some of our ex's. We both have pictures, letters, etc from people in our pasts. Our pasts are just that, in the past. Our pasts made us both the people we are today. Embrace his past, don't be afraid of it.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:54 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • selfish selfish selfish.

    That is a part of his past... he is who he is today because of EVERYTHING in his past. If all it is are letters and photos let him keep it. Why deny him his past. Are you THAT insecure???

    I have been married 17 years... a bit longer than you. We did it right... marry then move in then have a baby... and he still kept it all. I have no issue. He is married to ME not her. That says a lot.

    Grow up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Yeah, I think Im just jealous but, i do trust him so much. Im going to just drop it. I got rid of all the stuff that my ex's gave me for respect to my hubby not that he ask me.

    Thank ladys for sharing your thoughts w/me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

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