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My son got a girl pregnant and she wants to have an abortion.... Help me!

I would prefer her not have an abortion.. HOWEVER it is not my choice and I will respect whatever decision she feels is best. I'm not here to discuss her having one. My son is crushed. He's a very tough 17 year old and I haven't seen him shed one tear since he was 8 and he cries constantly because he wants to raise the baby. He said he's tried talking to her and she won't consider letting him or me raise the child. I keep explaining that if she does have an abortion that one day when him and hopefully a wife has children, he will know just how important those kids are to him because he's lost one but he has mentioned to the girl that if she does it, he will kill himself. I just feel so bad for my son. What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on Mar. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (64)
  • Take him to counseling, if my child told me he was going to kill himself I would be taking him to counseling that day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • ((( hugs )))) I dont know that you have any power. Im so sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Take your son to a therapist.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Why would he even consider asking her to sacrifice her body for him?

    There is nothing you CAN do, but if he is threatening suicide, look into some help.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 4:43 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I'm sorry but it's not for either of you to decide. It is her decision and hers alone. Unfortunately, everyone is paying the price, but there is nothing anyone can do. I'd suggest he get counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Have you talked to the girls parents?? maybe they will have a better impact on persuading her not to have the abortion and let you and your son raise the baby... HUGS!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Get him some major therapy. It is the girl's decision. She is the one that would have to carry this child to its birth, not your son. And he needs to understand that. She's obviously not ready to carry a baby, and there is no saying that she would take care of herself during the pregnancy, which would harm the fetus anyway. Your son just needs to understand that this is not the time, and he will have other chances with a woman instead of a girl when the time comes. Therapy would probably do him good.

    And there is always the possibility that she will change her mind, but don't hold your breath.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • He's the father of that baby and therefore he CAN take her to court and make her have that baby. If she doesn't want to raise it than she can sign over her rights once it's born. They both chose to have sex. Seriously, if you want this baby than you have to take legal action.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 4:46 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • "HOWEVER it is not my choice and I will respect whatever decision she feels is best."

    Right there, you stated the only true option you have as regards HER. She knows there are options. She could still change her mind.

    For your son: This is the worst case scenario that comes with sex. Now he knows what discussions he must have with a young woman before having sex. Or perhaps now he will choose to abstain until he is in a position to have a family. But the harsh truth is, never sleep with someone unless you know what they'll do about an unintended pregnancy, because this is what can happen.

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:46 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • Yeah, I agree, Counseling for all fronts. If someone says they will kill themselves they either actually need counseling or they need to know they can't throw terms like that around. Counseling will help both.

    As for the abortion....I would talk with him and explain that there are things in this world that are not under our control and for him this is one of them. There just isn't anything you can do about it and also talk long and hard about being more careful in the future.

    Answer by heatheryn at 4:47 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

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