Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you think(re:friend relationship).

Long story short: My best girlfriend has been with her boyfriend 7 yrs. She's been honest,stood by him through everything,and she just finished her schooling. The boyfriend lives in with her and they live together with her mother.He was so interested in buying this place(which I know he can definietly afford on his own without her financial help) and now she gets excited about looking at, they look, and he says well I don't know because of money(which is total bullshit). She works part-time and she's looking for her full-time career position since finishing her school. I told her the truth as a friend and said it sounds like he is dragging is feet in all ways. No engagment ring, no place that's officially theres. and it seems ridiculous. I feel bad. What do you ladies think? Would you put up with that. I sure the hell wouldn't.(She does not nag him either about getting married, but just casually talks about it).

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on Mar. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • That's what I am thinking! I feel bad because she works so hard, very pretty, and wants only the best and to start settling down soon to have a family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I would think it's their own business...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:35 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I hate to say it but 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'

    He doesn't have to worry about paying for housing and doesn't have the nagging to settle down. Of course, he's gonna try to keep it like that.

    She should sit down with him and say 'These are my goals, what are yours?' and if they don't match up, kick his @$$ out of there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • It is their own business, but when my friend calls me crying it becomes my business to tell her as a friend what I think. If you don't want people in your business then obviously you don't call them. Anyway I also told her about "he's getting the milk for free too." He's comfortable and she needs to be more persistent. She brings it up and she says they talk about the future, but she needs to get the ball rolling here. OP HERE!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • The whole "lets buy a house, start a family and live on our own thing" scares the crap out of a lot of people. Am not taking up for the guy at all, am just saying what I think.
    I'm not anti living together, but it's not something that I want to do. Why would they want to marry me if I was playing the wifely role anyway, and why would they want to buy a house when someone is providing one for them.
    I'm smart enough to not offer someone an ultimatum (sorry don't know how to spell it), but I'd tell them that the arrangement isn't what I was hoping for and that obviously we don't have the same dreams and maybe it's time we explore our options.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 5:55 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • If she wants marriage then I'd kick him out until he wants to commit. Right now he has no incentive to commit. She doesn't have to nag him, just tell him "this isn't working for me. I want marriage or nothing."
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:33 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • maybe she isn't ready either.
    I'd just be supportive best you can- she'll come to her own decision in time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

  • I have a friend who forced her bf to marry her( lived together for 2-years and dated for 5, )and now after a year they are separated. I did tell her how I felt about him and she still got married.

    He was dragging his feet and cheated on her never gave her a ring. What a winner!

    Why do women put up with this sh$t ?

    They always leave you for another women!!

    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 8:35 PM on Mar. 3, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN