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Looking for ideas....

My 17-year-old niece is dating a boy who treats her like she's nothing. She "loves" him and doesn't want to hurt him. She never had any good men in her life to show her that she's special. She's opened up to me a little, and I've been privileged to share with her a little about what real love is. I'm hesitant, though, I don't want to scare her away. I'm looking for ideas of unobtrusive things to share with her (books, movies?) that demonstrate true love and good men. Any ideas? (Going to give her "loves comes softly")

 
Adelicious

Asked by Adelicious at 1:00 PM on Mar. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,157 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I don't know if she would really get the hint, love in the movies is so different from love in real life. I would just be straight up honest with her. This is her life, she has one shot. A guy that makes you feel anything but good, is a waste of your precious time. What if she had a kid with him? Would he make the kid feel bad too?
    She really needs you. DOn't let her down.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:16 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • The movie Julie and Julia shows two caring husbands, particularly Julia's, who treated their women tenderly.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:02 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • Waiting to Exhale!!!
    Ann_Ony_Mouse

    Answer by Ann_Ony_Mouse at 1:28 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • "...She really needs you. DOn't let her down."

    Yes, you're right, of course. Movie love is not the same as real life. I talked pretty straight with her, but it's a delicate situation. I know if I hound her, she's gonna shut me out. She's been taking advice from my brother and his GF--NOT a good role model! I just thought maybe if she saw some good examples it would have an impact on that horrible picture kids get of people falling madly in love at first sight, being rescued from crocodiles, having sex, and living happily ever after! LOL!

    What about waiting to exhale? I didn't get that....
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:36 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • waiting to exhale, i believe is a movie. I've never seen it.

    Tell her she needs to meet my brother! He's 17, and would treat her great!

    Maybe try to set her up on a "blind" date... let her see what it's like to have a door held open for her. Shoot, I'm a prime example, my exfiance (should NEVER have been my fiance period) used to sleep with his exgf while living with me, and I knew about it, but didn't argue about it because I never won. But congratulations to you for being there for her, because I never had anyone worthy of being a good example for me, or teaching me the way I should have been treated, and teaching me how to say no to those that didn't treat me well! My mom later said she thought we were good for eachother because we had much in common. (That much was 1 thing: we both had a parent leave us)

    I managed to find my DH, streak of good luck! But I have learned my lesson!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:05 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • And I would mainly advise that you spend as much of your time with her making her feel extra special, and extra pretty. Manis and pedis are a good way to do that if she doesn't get the opportunity to primp much, will boost her confidence and self-esteem. She will then discover within herself if this boyfriend is worthy of all the work she's put into primping! ; )

    Good luck!
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 3:07 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • Thanks for the ideas. Unfortunately, I live in a different town and only get to see her now and then. FORTUNATELY, she lives with my mom and another young woman who are very loving to her (she's used to having people scream at her). She is beautiful and could be a model. I was there the other day and found a love letter she wrote to her boyfriend. She was laughing at how sappy it was, and I read it and thought it was so sweet. When her boyfriend came over, she told him about it and asked him if he wanted to read it it. he said, "I don't care." He actually sent her home once when he was tired of hanging out with her at his house. ARGH!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 5:43 PM on Mar. 4, 2010