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Ugh, I don't know. How would you feel in this position?

My husband informed me today that he ran into an old friend that's a girl (not an ex girlfriend) at his friend's house last night and that he gave her his number so they could keep in touch this time. He then asked me if I was ok with him having her as a friend and if not he would tell her nevermind his wife isn't cool with it. Well of course I said it's ok I mean I was kind of put on the spot and what would it make me look like if I said no? But it was kinda late anyway since he had already given her his number. My husband was a whore in his pre-marital days and he has cheated on me emotionally twice in the past. Also we were in a big argument last night when he left and neglected to tell me about her until after we made up today. Is this a little fishy or was he probably just being sincere on caring how I felt about this?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Mar. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • He would have kept it a secret if he had other motives

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:20 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • They dont need to be carrying on any kind of on going communications that doesnt involve you. An invite to a party of the kids and such is ok for both of you to attend. But guys and girls who are friends and either or both are married should not carry on alone with any kind of communications or meetings. Dont let that temptation even gets its evil head in your marriage.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • well i got to give him credit for telling you. i dont trust people who think ex girlfriends or even girls are friends through phones...facebook/myspace/yahoo yes but it ends there. there's something more personal when you do it by phone. i'm thinking you will have to wait and see where this takes you and him with this girl.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 3:28 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • Did you just SAY you were cool with it, or ARE you cool with it? If you're not, why did you say you were? You need to be honest with him, he told YOU, right?

    Answer by dellamae at 3:29 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • oh i might add husband has my sister's friends number in his phone but he never would strike up a texting conversation with her.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 3:33 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • op here. no im really not ok with it, only because of our past and i'm still rebuilding my trust for him. im hoping this is a step forward for him as far as trying to get my trust back? i guess im a little bothered that while i was home last night, over thinking our argument and just wishing he would come home, he was at his friend's hangin out with some girl. but maybe that's just my twisted mind making me paranoid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • if it seems wierd/fishy/bad gut feeling type of thing...dont ever think your wrong but jumping to conclusions right now wouldnt seem right

    Answer by americansugar80 at 3:53 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • Stop judging him for his past and trying to make something into what it's not.

    He clearly just ran into an old friend who he wanted to keep in touch with. He told you about it and wanted to ask about your feelings on it. He obviously cares about you and your feelings, and if he didn't and he wanted to have relations with said girl, I don't think he would have done what he did.

    Give him a break, and give him some credit. Stop trying the case when there has been no crime committed!

    Answer by BaisMom at 5:58 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • I would feel the same as you. He was upset with you then gave his number to another female... with his past I would definitely be bothered by that. Let him know that after thinking it over, you don't feel comfortable with the situation. He may have only told you because he's worried the girl will call/text and this way he can say he already warned you, maybe it was a guilty conscience. You're trust has been damaged by the past so those feeling are absolutely normal... you need more time and trust needs to be earned.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:26 AM on Mar. 5, 2010