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I have a 15 yr old pregnant daughter have i failed as a parent?

My daughter came to me when she was just shy of 6 months pregnant, and finally told me her situation. I was devaststed needless to say. I talked to her about sex, abortion, adoption, STD's, AID's, birth control, you name it i educated her on it. I feel like i gave her the tools and she didn't use those tools. I feel like i have failed as a parent. I now have to deal with other people and thier ugly stares and snide remarks, thier whispering behind my back. The "didn't you do this" or the "didn't you do that" It's not like i let her do it, she snuck behind my back while i was asleep. Woulda, coulda, shoulda i can't go back in time now, it's all about the future and my support for my daughter. I love her and now i have to deal with the fact i will now have to help raise my grandchild and be a grandmother all before i'm 38.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Mar. 4, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (96)
  • you failed to see that your daughter was pregnant 6 months?!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • I don;t think you did. I got pregnant at 15 and I dont blame by parents. I kept everything well hidden..like my controlling bf..
    Kids will do what they want regardless of what the parents say. JMO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • Been there done that. I beat myself up over it. I went to counseling and the counselor said that teens will find a way and they don't think when it comes to sex and hormones. It happens. My dd was only 13. She was already five months. It was stressful. Her bf dumped her. Her brother and sister turned on her. I was not happy with her but but no one should have to go through birth alone so we got through it. I taught her to be a good mother. I made her take care of him. I didn't babysit or raise him for her. He's 19 now so all turned out fine. It will make you or break you but it can be gone.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:03 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • that what i was thinking...6 months?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:04 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • was she your only daughter?
    paurad

    Answer by paurad at 9:04 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • "now i have to deal with the fact i will now have to help raise my grandchild and be a grandmother all before i'm 38. " have you said that to her? please don't- she doesn't need to feel like she's dissapointed you - there's bigger fish to fry.
    my mother told me about all that stuff too but boy did she have a fit when she realized that I had condoms in my purse- what did she expect me to do, count on the guy to have them?

    I don't think you failed, but do all you can to focus on the fact that your daughter can get the care she needs to help ensure that you have a healthy grand child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • my child would never sneak out of my house while i'm sleeping..just to add. I was never able to sneak out of my house either.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:05 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • idiots...no you did not fail as a parent your daughter is her own person!
    mommy16love

    Answer by mommy16love at 9:05 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • Young girls are good at hiding pregnancies well late especially y if they are on the chubby side I knew a girl you couldn't even tell she was 8 months pregnant because she was always big so for the anon comment wrong. But no you are not a bad parent. I got pregnant at a young age too, ended in a miscarriage when I was about 3 months and thats how she found out i was in the bathroom for quite a while in pain but it was in no way my mothers fault she talked to me about everything and always wanted me to come to her for anything but I snuck around anyways.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • i am not going to bash you bc its not all your fault, you daughter had some idea of what she was doing. but i do want to point out for other moms what u may not have been asking. i was a young mother, i was 19 when i got pregnant. and i can testify that while my mom told me that sex=pregnancy, and she told me that i shouldnt have sex..i did even though i didnt really want to. what my mom didnt tell me was how convincing some guys could be. she never taught me how to have an age appropriate relationship with a boy. i never knew why if was so important to wait until marriage, and most of all i was not taught that most boys head for the hills when they sense a pregnancy! a lot of girls think either that it cant happen to them, or that it will bring them closer to the boy they are sleeping with. Now just teach her how to be a good mom. make her watch her own baby, i worked went to school, and took care of my child after daycare.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

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