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Having more kids (or not)

I'm looking for advice! I have one child (4 years old) and really, really want at least one more. My husband is done. If we wanted another child we would need to go the infertility route and being 38 I'm getting anxious that time is running out. We have a wonderful relationship, been marries for 5 year and known each other for over ten years. We have been in counseling for several months with no luck in resolving this issue. I do the majority of the childcare, housework, etc. while he works very long hours. We have a great support network of family and friends and financially can afford it. So...How do couples discuss and decide when to have (or not have) another child? What do you do when you totally disagree? How can I convince him that one more would be great?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Mar. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (1)
  • The understanding that you had before you got married does have bearing here. If you and your husband had already decided to only have one, then you are stuck. If you had decided to have more than one, then you have some leverage- he is breaking his agreement. Otherwise, if does not want more, then it is time to let it go, at least for say 6 months or a year. You can say, let's discuss it again in 6 months (or a year.) and not bring it up again until then. The difference between what you want and what he wants is that another child would always be a responsibility for your husband, where no other child, which is what your husband wishes, would cause you sadness for a while, but no financial or time or responsibility outlay. Personally, I'm with you, but I do understand your husband's point of view.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:58 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

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