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my SO wrote a text that was totally f****d up, am i overreacting? what would you do?

My SO's best friend is visiting her lesbian friend in the virgin islands. He was asking his friend how her vacation was going and she said great. He said to her " if your friend decides to visit Boston for a lil while and decides to not be a lesbian, I'm here" his friend and him both laughed it off thru text and that was the end of that. I confronted him, he said I can't believe your taking that seriously, we were joking" although she lives far away and she is lesbian, I am furious. Would you let it go? Or would you ne pissed too. What action, if any, would you take?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Mar. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I can understand being a littel upset and it is disrespectful .... but it isnt like he was serious and its obvious to see that...

    Like, the other night I showed my husband pics of a friends new boob job, and he was like yeahhhh those are really nice ! ( overly joyed ) ... I mean sure it was annoying sounding, but nothing to get mad at -- just a harmless comment that wont add up to anything, just like yours did.

    Answer by glamomomo at 10:47 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • I think I would be pissed, but at the same time not so pissed that I would make any relatonship changing decisions about it. Explain to him that it isn't just the fact that you know she is not around and is a lesbein, but him talking that way to anyone is hurtful and you dont like hearing about it. Not saying you would, but ask him if you can try to sleep with a gay man...would he be upset? Again, not sayin you would, but thinking of your SO in a situation like that wether it is a valid worry or not is not a comfortable thought to have. He should refrain fro playing like that even if it is just out of respect for you.

    Answer by AK_aries at 10:48 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • It seems a tad disrespectful, I know my feelings would be hurt if it was me in your shoes :(


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • It would deff. bother me

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:52 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • It sounds dumb to me but he's your SO. I wouldn't let it bother me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • OP here: she visits all the time. So the fact that she's far away doesn't make me feel better. its just disrespectful that he's offering himself up to her. Whether he was really joking or not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • I'd be pissed but it's not something to drag on. Do realize that if he doesn't realize what he has and wants to frikken leave you let him leave you, his loss, he's the stupid one. No he shouldn't be speaking to other girls like that. just say that too, "if you're in a relationship, joking or not, you don't say those things, i don't find it funny"

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 10:59 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • if it were my SO i know he'd be kidding and just blow it off. i'd actually probly laugh about it too.

    Answer by armywife43 at 11:02 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • Ok, so I'm in your SO's possition right now. In my English class there is this 18 year old kid I sit next to. He was in my English class last semester so we talk in class and it's helpful to have someone to ask about classwork and things. Well, I have a weird sense of humor and I was joking with him (something inapropriate like your SO said) and my fiance seen it. He is upset with me and seems worried that something is or might go on with us.

    Thing is, I was 100% joking when I made the comment and meant nothing by it. I joked with him like I would one of our male buddies. I think it hit a nerve because he does not know this kid (I am also 26 and a lot older than him) and I deleted him off my facebook to make him more comfy, but he doesn't want me to talk to him in class. That is near impossible seeing as how we sit together and do group work together. cont......

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:54 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

  • There is NOTHING going on and I never even looked at this kid in the way my fiance is worried that I am or might. I've given him no reason in the past 3 years to doubt my trust and yet he acts as if I had cheated on him. I am hurt and upset by the way he is talking and acting. He is going to be home in half an hour and I don't know what to say. I deleted him from my facebook to help him feel better about the situation because I am trying to understand where he is coming from, but I feel as if him asking me to stop talking to this kid is too far. Controlling perhaps? I don't know. I could care less if I never talk to this kid after this semester is over, it's just the idea of being told who I can and cannot talk to seems to go to far with me. Especially when NOTHING has ever went on or will ever go on between that kid and I. He is just a friend!

    I hope this helps you decide on what you want to do. I'm sure he was joking.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 11:59 PM on Mar. 4, 2010

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