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Why would any mother force her pregnant teen daughter into an adoption or an abortion?

Also why do so many of you pledge to kick your daughter out or refuse to help her?

Mother's of grown, married daugters often help their daughters out, especially in the first few weeks.

My step grandmother had her first child at 37. She lived in another state & when she called her mother in tears because she couldn't even take a shower without the baby screaming, her mother packed and took the next flight out. She stayed with her for 3 weeks to help her. If it's okay for her to do that why isn't it okay for a mother to help her teen daughter?

Also don't you think your daughter might hate you for it later if you force her to give her baby up for adoption or have an abortion?


#1-I don't think you have that legal right.
#2-I would have HATED my mother for the rest of my life if she had forced me to give up my daughter when I became pregnant at 17. I would have left home and never looked back.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:35 AM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • I don't know girl.
    As a mother you do NOT have the legal right, at least not in my state (TX). Laws vary from state to state though. Once a girl is pregnant, medically, she is considered an emancipated minor, and makes the decisions for herself & her baby with no parental consent required (except to abort). I am a medic, & I have had some HAIRY situations come up because of that. Explaining to a (often very pissed off) parent that I do not have to take their underage, pregnant child to the hospital because she doesn't want to go is NOT easy.
    When I was a teen, my mom told me she would force me to get an abortion if I became pregnant, even though I didn't believe in them (& she knew it!). Then I had a pregnancy scare at 15, and she wondered why I didn't come running to her to talk to her about it! Gee, I wonder?!
    I couldn't force my DD (or my SD) into either one. Even if it is your decision legally, that doesn't make it right!
    emslala

    Answer by emslala at 12:52 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I agree. IF that happened to my DD, I would not be forcing her to do anything. I would discuss all her options with her, the pros and cons of each, and I would lead her away from abortion because I don't think it's right. BUT in the end it would be her decision and I would be there to help her out in any way I could. I got pregnant at 18 and my mom was really mad, but she still stood by me. Not saying I would be happy about it in the least, but I would be there to help her out.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 12:55 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I agree PP.

    I mean it seems to me that it's about authority and punishment but this isn't ground them from a cell phone...IT'S A BABY!!! They aren't just going to "get over it."

    I saw a documentary one time on teen mom's (not the MTV one...I think it was on Discovery Health or something) where a mother made her daughter have an abortion because she didn't want to be embarrassed at church. She said "Ya she was upset and she was crying because of discomfort but you know...she had to learn her lesson." It was the saddiest thing I've ever seen.

    And I was appalled that a fellow christian would force her child into something that our religion (they were southern baptist as well) forbids when her daughter was completely against it.

    I don't even know if her mother had the legal right or if the daughter knew that she didn't. I don't know what state they were in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Selfishness.
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 1:13 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • i beleive in pro choice....some can help it and in some cases its what is best..i know people who should have had thier moms tell them this...i work with foster homes and some kids would have been better with a foster parent sooner...and some girls should not be parents..i would go more so for adoption...but like you say its your choice and parents should be supportive no matter what if not that then step in a take charge
    juliesmommy823

    Answer by juliesmommy823 at 1:21 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • For me they did it because it was popular in my family lol. My grandma started having her girls at 16, my mom had my brother at 18, my brother had his son at 17 and i got pregnant when i was 17. So they thought i had a long line and lesson of "what NOT to do" also they thought i was too immature to handle having a child and that i wouldnt be that great of a mom and i had nothing to offer...as parents you are thinking about the baby, you think "what can my child offer their child? especially without even a full education, no job, still dependent on us" you just want whats best for both your child and your grandchild. The problem is that no one says it that way, they get scared and kick the person out or tell them you dont think they can do it which is what happened to me...i called them on their bluff and i did move out and i am a GREAT MOM! But anyways, i think thats why.
    LogansMama09

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 1:43 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • if teens want to make adult decisions then they need to buck up and be adults imo. it's not MY job to raise another baby that i didn't choose to have. there's an 18 yr old (i go to schoolw with her) that lives with grandma bc she ran her own mother out of money. her mom couldn't get food stamps for baby number one to live on (wic wouldn't help either bc she still lived at home) and then a year later baby number two pops out!!! this girl was 17 and an unwed single mother of two who has NEVER worked more than in the summer and doesn't buy things like diapers and formula for her children to live on. she didn't buy her car and doesn't pay rent. it's not fair to the mother's of teens that are stupid and get pregnant and choose to keep it, they should be adults if they are wanting to make decisions about that and move out on their own and handle their business like adults.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 5:25 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • My child's heath and future are infinitely more important to me than a fetus.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:32 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • "My child's heath and future are infinitely more important to me than a fetus."

    Mental health is as important as physical health, and if what you say is true then you would never force something on your child. A fetus does not play a role on your childs future, it only determines how easy or hard that road will be, but if the parents suppost thier child the road will only be bumpy.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 4:13 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • As the mother of a 16 yo dd I would make sure she knew all HER choices. No I don't want to raise another child, but because she is going to be a mother does that mean I am not her mother anymore? I don't think so. I always tell her that what ever she wants to do is what we will do, some how it would work out. But FORCE her, I can't force her to do anything!
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 11:15 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

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