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moms out there with special needs kids

I have a 5 year old son with severe immune defiency, very rare condition. He struggles everyday. anyways I have 3 other kids and I find myself favoring him over the other kids. My husband does it to, but I think we have so much guilt and feel so bad for him its hard not to. They did not think he was going to make it till 5 and he did, hes a fighter, but his body is tierd now and hes getting worse, he has developed arthritis. Please help me with this problem, The 2 older ones are starting to relize whats going on and I feel horiable. Please no bashing I feel bad enough. I just need advice.

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Asked by indigo645 at 8:23 AM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Health

Level 3 (-18 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I have a daughter who was diagnosed with a chronic condition at 3. At the time I had a 10 week old as well. I didn't know how to take care of her and honestly felt I was going to have to pass the baby off to my mom. lol. Anyway, that didn't happen, we figured it out. We went out of our way to treat her like the others (we have since had a third) and now we are to the point that she gets no special treatment. However, hers isn't as serious as your sons. Hers is manageable and she should lead a normal life.

    I think you need to make a conscious effort with the older two. Make them feel special as well. Maybe you and your husband could take turns with one on one time with the other children. Whether it be go out for an ice cream, window shop at the mall, or a walk in the park. Whatever. But I think it would be helpful if you could make it a regular thing, time with just them and a fulle explanation of what's going on with him.

    Answer by heatheryn at 8:49 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Me again....They might be a little more understanding if they knew the whole of what's happening and maybe they already do.

    I'm really sorry you're going through all this.

    Answer by heatheryn at 8:51 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Please try not to feel guilty. It is normal to focus on the child who needs your attention at this time. The other children realize this and may see that your child is getting more attention. Most siblings see it for what it is, although they may not like it. None of us are perfect parents. We do the best we can every day. We had a child with leukemia. He was sick for a year and a half. Our four other children did not have the attention I wish I could have given them. Unforutnately our son died and we all were devastated. I went to work with other families who have a sick child. They are all struggling to keep a child well, while maintaining normality.

    I wrote a book about siblings living with illness in the family. It might be helpful for you to read as it is a group of stories, written by children. They tell of how they are stronger for having lived with a sick sibling. Day By Day and is on Amazon, by Christine Frisbee.

    Answer by chris12 at 8:57 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

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