Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i am overly pissed off right now.

I have been in a long distance relationship (total 2.5 years..but away for a year) and EVERY single time we plan a trip to see each other we have to hear crap from his gma and mother. I am SO sick of it. We are perfectly fine without them creating SO much drama. His gma sent a nasty email to him saying I am a tramp because I am staying with him for 2 weeks. How ELSE am I going to see him!?! This is absurd. She even had the nerve to say "she can stay for 3 days at my house then return to her home..not yours" Who the hell does she think she is telling ME where and how long I can stay. I am 21 years old and he is 23. We have a child (not biological his but he says he's her dad to everyone bc hes been there since the pregnancy) I know she prlly means well...but this is SO out of control now. We want to get married. Now. Its been this long..I dont see anything changing after he graduates. So why not? Has anyone gone thru this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • btw..I have a feeling someone is gonna say something bout my 20 month old not being his. He has always been there and has always wanted to be her dad. She knows him as her daddy. So no bashing about that. PLease

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • He needs to man up and tell them to mind their own business. He's a big boy he knows how to run his life exactly how he wants to

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • How do they feel about you marrying him? Maybe they don't like you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Yeah true. He sent an email back saying hes tired of all this back lash about me and a whole bunch of other stuff. I was SO happy he finally stood up to her. And he was acting as an adult when he replied. She was saying things liek "WHAT are you thinking?!" geez. It's not the end of the world

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • OP here: I KNOW they dont like me. They will say all this crap about me, but she turned around and said "this isnt about (me) this is about you and i did not call her a tramp" she clearly did. I dont care if they dont like me. ive given them opportunities to get to know me and ive given them respect and they wont take any of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • i would talk to him and tell him that if he wants to be with you that you need to see changes and a big commitment. You want to feel welcomed not unwelcomed like you have been feeling. He needs to show his part in making that happen

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • OP here: Yeah we want to get married. I think the big reason is financially. Bc we are both in college (hes on campus, i'm doing online stuff). Its just somethings gotta change. And if I go move down there without getting married we will never hear the end of it from them. My parents dont really agree with us living together without being married but they arent telling us what to do. I'm sure that we can make it work if we both have some sort of job. right? uuggghh I hate this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • The older generation is more traditional and back in their days you didn't do things like that. They called people a tramp when they did. I would not take it personally at all. Things will change when you get married and you want to get along with your in laws. Just try to respect her and just don't tell her that yu guys are ataying together when you go on vacation. If you are at her house sleep in different rooms. In the long run it is more important that you get along with her.

    Answer by bjane01 at 11:24 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • my grandparents did the same thing. My sister is not my dad biological child. but she called him dad before they were even married and one time they came to visit and since my parents werent married yet my grandpa was insisting that my mom and sister sleep in a room with 2 twin beds and that my dad slept in a separate room. When my grandpa was taking my sister upstairs and explaining that her and my mom were sharing a room she said, "where is daddy going to sleep?" and thats when they realized how stupid the whole thing was. Just do it. they will get over it.

    Answer by Des10ed2b at 1:03 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.