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How do I help dh? His father is a racist prick?

Dh's bio father is a racist prick. When our first son was born he told dh in a letter,
"You stepped outside your race boy. Your d**k is gonna fall off from messing with those jungle n**ger women. That mutt is born on a n**ger holiday. Leave that coon and that abomination NOW." <~~~ That is word for word from his letter. (Our son was born on 6/19... juneteenth.)
His bio dad is in prison, has been for the vast majority of dh's life.
Dh's step dad told him to let it be and for the most part he has. But he recieved a letter that his bio dad is getting out later this year. The letter also stated that he and dh need to talk about this "situation" he has gotten himself into. His dad stated he would help him "fix it" and he would "forgive" him for the huge mistake he has made with his life.
Dh is starting to act wierd. Going to the gun range on weekends and things of that sort.
What do I say to him to help him calm down?

 
4xsthetrouble

Asked by 4xsthetrouble at 10:33 AM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,387 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • oh my.. im would like to know when all the racist people on the earth will just die off! life would be so much more peaceful without the waste of that hateful energy... tell your man you love him. if he keeps actin weird then he must not be a strong minded person. good people know what's right and wrong, but a lot of white people are raised with racial issues they cant identify because it has been pounded into their heads from day one.(by the way i'm white)he just needs your support to know that how he feels about you is not wrong in any way! maybe in the end you could help his father(because he clearly needs it).. has he seen picture of his grandchild? good luck with whatever comes your way!
    rahrahsmama

    Answer by rahrahsmama at 10:42 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • We have 4 children now. Been together 8 years. We've had this discussion in the past he and I. I know the issue isnt because he feels wrong about loving his family. He says he's more worried that his bio will try something and dh's exact words were "i'll be damned if i let him hurt you or the babies".... I know he wants to protect us, but I kinda like him(lol) and I dont wanna see him do anything stupid
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 10:46 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Well I just hope and pray that he is sincere on patching things up with his son that is so sad of the choices of words he used to express his feelings. I believe that people that do time in jail have time to think things over and even come closer to God but once they are out sometimes they go back to their old ways. As far as your dh going to gun ranges I would watch him closely bc it sounds like he is just practicing to learn how to shot a gun to help defend himself God forbid this is going to happen but he does need to defend himself incase his dad is a freak. Just let him do what he needs to do as far as to feel safe but let him know that for whatever reason it is not worth killing anyone and spending the rest of his life in jail. I mean I could be wrong but this is what it sounds like to me. PS If he does decide to shot his dad tell him to just wound him not kill him...ok GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Get a security system for your house with cameras/site mirrors outside your house. Keep your phone number unpublished and get the special verizon id system that a caller who blocks their telephone number has to announce with their own voice their name/company and you decide to answer from that. Yes true, someone can lie about their business personal or professional, but their actual sound of their voice remains close to the same. Verizon residential offers a telephone ring identification system that gives a specific ring to callers that you choose to either avoid or answer according to the sound of the telephone ringing. U can also choose, through verizon residential, to refuse to allow blocked callers through by pre programing that inyour own telephone and caller id system.

    I don't blame your husband for getting a gun. Your fil will then understand by knowing that, that he's not welcome in your lives.

    PRAYERS MOMMY!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • yea thats scary... i hope that asshole(bio) doesnt do something stupid.if he does then he deserves to get shot! racist people suck. i cant say it enough. i hope you and your fam stay safe.
    rahrahsmama

    Answer by rahrahsmama at 11:11 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • "I believe that people that do time in jail have time to think things over and even come closer to God but once they are out sometimes they go back to their old ways."
    do you live in lala land? prisons can be the biggest breeding ground for criminals - some people come out worse than when they go in!
    op, if you really want to help your dh, you can help him clean his guns. one less racist bastard on this earth. if your fil is going to come and threaten you and yours, it's his own fault if he finds himself at the wrong end of a gun.
    then again, the gun range just might be a place where he can blow off steam. hope everything turns out okay.
    AngryBob

    Answer by AngryBob at 12:37 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Your husband should take those letters to the parole board and insist that they keep the bastard in jail. Almost nobody serves their entire sentence. I'm sure they can find a way to keep him in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • my dad's racist but not to that extreme. He has been told the second he walks into our house he needs to watch his mouth or the grandkids will not know that granddad on for the most part is a great man. Period.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

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