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Husband wants to stop co-sleeping

This has been really hard on our relationship. My husband wants to start getting our 9 monht old to sleep in her crib, i would like to keep co-sleeping since my need of sleep is higher than my need of her being in her crib. I like to co-sleep though i know its my fault she won't sleep in her crib because we snuggle all night and she still nurses once at night. I give up co-sleeping because my husband wants me to? He said if i want to continue co-sleeping then i can sleep in the guest room with her, i thought that was a mean thing to say since she is a good sleeper and sleeps all night. He thinks its good for het to start sleepin on her own and i think it's good for her to be right next to me!! I don't know what to do! :(

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (23)
  • I thought the same thing... now I have a three year old who WONT sleep in his own bed! There's no room for me or DH one of us has to sleep on the couch! I would try to move her to her own bed and find other ways for you to bond. There is always naptime if you want to snuggle!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I think if you want to continue you should sleep in the guest room...He's probably just giving you the option because he thinks you'll just put the baby in the crib. Call his bluff...and if its not a bluff than he can believe he's sleeping better. It will only be for a few months anyway. I've slept on the couch plenty of times because of his snoring...we're still happily married.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Not all kids who co-sleep will refuse to sleep on their own. I say go with your Momma gut.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 10:55 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • If co-sleeping puts a strain on your marriage then there is a problem.... Your baby will just have to get adjusted to sleeping in her crib and let me tell you the sooner the better.  She will cry in the beginning but she will get used to it.... If not now when did you plan on stopping Co-Sleeping?


    Answer by RachMeg08 at 10:56 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I'm anon 54....just want to add that I stop co-sleeping at 3 months when my DD was sleeping most of the night. I'd get up most night around 3 to feed her and by the time she was 5 months she slept completely though. I have no problems putting her to bed, she's 20 months, although every kid is different.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • You're relationship with your husband should be more important than your relationship with you LO. Kids benefit greatly when their parents have a strong relationship. IMO it's time to stop co-sleeping and time to start giving your hubby the attention he deserves, wants, and needs. If you want him around for the long haul, you need to make his desires important to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Dude, can you really blame him? It's putting a strain on your relationship. I mean, he probably wants some sex, and doesn't want the kid around for it, and who can blame him for that. Get the kid into her own crib.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • At this point, if my marriage were suffering, I would work on trying to move my 9 month old to her own crib and getting her to sleep for longer stretches. She's not a newborn anymore; she doesn't need to nurse ever 2 hours. You can do this. Go for it.

    Also, you don't have to CIO to do this. There are tons of gentle sleep training methods.

    Answer by winterrose82 at 11:43 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I'm not sure I'd want to say that one relationship was more important than the other. But it is important to preserve all the relationships in your family! We never did well with co-sleeping (all 3 of us slept poorly) so this was not an issue for us. But I think your husband's wishes about the bed you share should be taken into consideration. I wouldn't necessarily assume that your baby will not sleep well in a crib until you have tried it. Especially if your major consideration is getting your full night's sleep, as opposed to your being ideologically dedicated to co-sleeping -- IMO that would be different. If you think you sleep better with baby, but your husband would sleep better or better enjoy his sleeping situation without baby, than those are equal considerations. Hopefully you're grown ups and can talk it through and come up with a compromise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • You're relationship with your husband should be more important than your relationship with you LO.----> So glad that your not my parent ann. 11:04. My children are #1 in all aspects, not my SO. I love my SO to death, but my children are my flesh and blood. ...............Anyways that said... I co-slept with my 1st dd until she was 13months. Then I started putting her in her toddler bed to sleep and when she would wake up in the middle of the night I would get her and bring her into our bed. She is 20 months old and just this past 2 weeks started sleeping in her bed all night, although she wakes at the crack of dawn. I am cosleeping with my 6 month old and my SO doesnt mind so much anymore. Sometimes he sleeps on the couch but he likes to cuddle too. I would tell him if thats what he wants then he has to deal with her crying and not sleeping good during the night and maybe he will understand why you do this.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 11:47 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

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